Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Fiqh for the Righteous: The prohibition against backbiting & the command to guard the tongue (Riyad al-Salihin by Imam al-Nawawi)
From the translation on Sr. Ayesha Bewley’s site.
Allah says, “Do not backbite one another Would any of you like to eat his brother’s dead flesh? No, you would hate it. But have taqwa of Allah. Allah is Ever-Returning, Most Merciful,” (49:12)
And He says, “Do not pursue what of which you have no knowledge of hearing, sight, and hearts will all be questioned.” (17:36)
Allah says, “He does not utter a single word without a watcher by him, pen in hand.” (50:18)
1511. Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day, should speak good words or be silent.” [Agreed upon]
This hadith clearly indicates that he should not speak unless the words he speaks are good. That means speech whose benefit is clear. If there is any doubt about benefit occurring, he should not speak.
1512. Abu Musa said, “I said, ‘Messenger of Allah, whose Islam is best?’ He said, ‘The one from whose tongue and hands the Muslims are safe.'” [Agreed upon]
1513. Sahl ibn Sa’d reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Anyone who safeguards for My sake what is between his jaws and what is between his legs, I will safeguard the Garden for him.” [Agreed upon]
1514. Abu Hurayra reported that he heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “A slave of Allah might say something, without realising its seriousness, which causes him to slip into the Fire by a greater margin than the distance between the east and the west.” [Agreed upon]
1515. Abu Hurayra is that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “A slave of Allah might say something which pleases Allah Almighty without realising it on account of which Allah raises him some degrees. A slave of Allah might say something which angers Allah Almighty without realising it on account of which he falls into Jahannam.” [al-Bukhari]
1516. Abu ‘Abdu’r-Rahman Bilal ibn al-Harith al-Muzani reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “A man may say something which pleases Allah Almighty without him realising the full extent of its implication, and because of it, Allah prescribes His pleasure for him until the Day he meets Him. And a man may likewise say something which angers Allah without him realising the full extent of its implication, and because of it, Allah prescribes His wrath for him until the Day he meets Him. [Malik in al-Muwatta’ and at-Tirmidhi]
1517. Sufyan ibn ‘Abdullah said, “I said, ‘Messenger of Allah, tell me something I can cling to.’ He said, ‘Say: “My Lord is Allah” and then go straight.’ I said, ‘Messenger of Allah, what is the thing you fear most for me?’ He took hold of his tongue and then said, ‘This.'” [at-Tirmidhi]
1518. Ibn ‘Umar reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Do not say much without mentioning Allah. A lot of talk without mentioning Allah Almighty makes people’s hearts hard. The furthest of people from Allah are the hard-hearted.” [at-Tirmidhi]
1519. Abu Hurayra said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘Anyone whom Allah protects from the evil of what is between his jaws and the evil of what is between his legs will enter the Garden.'” [at-Tirmidhi]
1520. ‘Uqba ibn ‘Amir said, “I said, ‘Messenger of Allah, what ensures safety?’ He said, ‘Holding your tongue, keeping to your house and weeping for your sins.'” [at-Tirmidhi]
1521. Abu Sa’id al-Khudri reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “When the son of Adam starts the day, all his limbs supplicate his tongue, saying, ‘Fear Allah in respect of us. We move by you. If you go straight, we go straight. If you go crooked, we go crooked.'” [at-Tirmidhi]
1522. Mu’adh said, “I said, ‘Messenger of Allah, tell me of an action which will admit me to the Garden and keep me far from the Fire.’ He said, ‘You have asked about a great matter, but it is easy for the one to whom Allah Almighty makes it easy: worship Allah and do not associate anything with Him, do the prayer, pay the zakat, fast Ramadan and go on hajj to the House.’ Then he said, ‘Shall I direct you to the gates of good? Fasting, which is a protection, and sadaqa, which extinguishes mistakes as water extinguishes fire, and the prayer of a man in the middle of the night.’ Then he recited, ‘Their sides eschew their beds’ until he reached ‘what it used to do.’ (32:16-17) Then he said, ‘Shall I tell you of the head of the matter, its support and its peak?’ I said, ‘Yes indeed, Messenger of Allah.’ He said, ‘The head of the matter is Islam and its support is the prayer and its peak is jihad.’ Then he said, ‘Shall I tell you of the foundation of all that?’ I said, ‘Yes, indeed, Messenger of Allah.’ He took hold of his tongue and said, ‘Restrain this.’ I said, ‘Messenger of Allah, will we be taken to task for what we say ?’ He said, ‘May your mother be bereaved! Are people thrown on their faces into the Fire for anything but the harvest of their tongues?'” [at-Tirmidhi]
1523. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He said, “To mention your brother in a manner he dislikes.” It was said, “What if my brother is as I say?” He said, “If he is as you said, you have backbitten him. If he is not as you said, you have slandered him.” [Muslim]
1524. Abu Bakra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said in his khutba on the Day of Sacrifice during the Farewell Hajj, “Your blood, your property and your honour are sacred to you, like the sacredness of this day in this month in this city. Have I not conveyed it?” [Agreed upon]
1525. ‘A’isha said, “I said to the Prophet, ‘Such-and-such should be enough for you in respect of Safiyya.’ (Some of the transmitters say that she meant her shortness.) He said, ‘You have said something that, if it were mixed with the water of the ocean, would still pollute it!’ [She said,] I said, ‘I related something unpleasant about someone to him and he said, “I would not like to relate anything unpleasant about someone, even if I were to receive such-and-such a thing [for doing it].”‘” [Abu Dawud and at-Tirmidhi]
1526. Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “When I ascended through the heavens, I passed by some people holding copper nails with which they were gouging their faces and chests. I said, ‘Who are these, Jibril?’ He said, ‘Those are the people who consumed people’s flesh and attacked their honour.'” [Abu Dawud]
1527. Abu Hurayra stated that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “The blood, honour and property of every Muslim is sacred for another Muslim.” [Muslim]
255. Chapter: On the prohibition against listening to backbiting. The command that someone who hears backbiting should refute it or object to it being said. If he is unable to do that or the speaker does not accept his objection, then he should leave that gathering if he can.
Allah Almighty says, “When they hear worthless talk, they turn away from it,” (28:55) and the Almighty says, “Those who turn away from worthless talk.” (23:3) The Almighty says, “Hearing, sight and hearts will be questioned,” (17:36) and the Almighty says, “When you see people engrossed in mockery of Our signs, turn away from them until they start to talk of other things. And if Shaytan should cause you to forget, once you remember, do not stay sitting with the wrongdoers.” (6:68)
1528. Abu’d-Darda’ reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “On the Day of Rising Allah will defend from the Fire the face of anyone who defends the honour of his brother.” [at-Tirmidhi]
1529. ‘Itban ibn Malik said in the famous long hadith which was reported from him in the chapter on hope, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, stood up to pray and said, ‘Where is Malik ibn ad-Dukhshum?’ A man said, ‘That man is a hypocrite who does not love Allah and His Messenger.’ The Prophet said, ‘Do not say that. Do you not see that he has said, “There is no god but Allah,” desiring by that only the face of Allah? Allah has forbidden the Fire for anyone who says “There is no god but Allah” desiring by that the face of Allah.'” [Agreed upon]
1530. Ka’b ibn Malik said in his long hadith about the story of his repentance which was given in the Chapter of Repentance, “While he was sitting among the people at Tabuk, the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘What has Ka’b ibn Malik done? A man of the Banu Salima said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, he has been held back by his two cloaks and self-conceit.’ Mu’adh ibn Jabal said to him, ‘What an evil thing to say! By Allah, Messenger of Allah, we only know good of him!’ The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was silent.” [Agreed upon]
Know that talking about people is permitted for a sound legal reason which can only be realised by doing that. There are six reasons for which it is allowed:
1. Being a victim of injustice. The person who has been wronged is permitted to complain about that to the ruler or qadi or others in authority or those who have the power to rectify the injustice. He says, “So-and-so has wronged me.”
2. Seeking help to alter something objectionable or to return someone who disobeys Allah to the correct path. He says to the one he hopes will remove what is objectionable (munkar), “So-and-so is doing such-and-such, so restrain him from it. That is allowed if his aim is to remove that objectionable. Otherwise it is forbidden.
3. Asking for a fatwa. He says to the mufti, “My father (brother, spouse or so-and-so) has wronged me by such-and-such. Can he do that? How can I be saved from it and obtain my right and remove the injustice?” This is permitted as it is legal argument, but it is better to be more circumspect and say, “What do you say about a man, person or spouse who does such-and-such?” Then he will obtain what he desires without mentioning him specifically, although it is nonetheless permitted to mention him specifically.
4. Warning the Muslims about evil and advising them. There are various forms of that. Part of that is invalidating the testimony of witnesses and transmitters. That is permitted by consensus. Indeed, it is mandatory because of need. Another instance is consultation about someone as a potential in-law, partner, keeper of a deposit or employee, or the like, or neighbour. Then the one consulted must not conceal his state and must mention his bad qualities with the aim of giving good advice. Another case is when someone sees someone learning fiqh frequenting an innovator or impious person to study with them and he fears that the student of fiqh will be harmed by that. Then he must give him good advice by explaining the person’s situation, always provided that his intention is to give advice. This is something in which it is possible to err and the speaker may be moved by envy to do that and Shaytan confuses the matter for him so that he imagines that it is good advice. Another case is when someone has guardianship which he does not administer properly, either because he does not deal properly with it, or is impious or neglectful or the like. Then it is obliged to mention that to the one with general authority so that he can remove it and appoint someone who will look after it properly, or in order that he knows that about him so that he can deal with him appropriately and not be deceived by him.
5. When someone is open about his impiety or innovation, like someone who drinks wine openly, oppresses people, imposes tolls on people and taxes property unjustly and engages in false matters. What he does openly is mentioned, but it is forbidden to mention other faults he has unless it is for another justifiable cause.
6. Recognition. When a person is known by a nickname, like al-A’mash (the blear-eyed), al-A’raj (the lame), al-Asamm (the deaf), and the like, it is permitted that they be known as that but it is forbidden to use it to deprecate them. It is better if there is another way of identifying the person.
These are six reasons which scholars mentioned and there is agreement on most of them. The evidence for that in sound hadiths is well-known.
1531. ‘A’isha reported that a man asked permission to visit the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and he said, ‘Give him permission. He is an evil brother of the tribe.'” [Agreed upon]
Al-Bukhari used it as a proof for the permissibility of speaking ill of the people of corruption and people of doubt.
1532. ‘A’isha reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “I do not think that so-and-so and so-and-so know anything about our deen.” [al-Bukhari]
Al-Layth ibn Sa’d, one of the transmitters of this hadith, said, “These two men were among the hypocrites.”
1533. Fatima bint Qays said, “I went to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and said, ‘Abu’l-Jahm and Mu’awiya have both proposed marriage to me.’ The Messenger of Allah said, ‘Mu’awiya is poor and without property. Abu’l-Jahm does not put down the staff from his shoulder.'” [Agreed upon]
In a version of Muslim, “As for Abu’l-Jahm, he beats women,” which explains the transmission, “He does not put down the staff from his shoulder.” It is also said to mean he travels a lot.
1534. Zayd ibn Arqam said, “We went out with the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, on a journey during which the people suffered considerable hardship. ‘Abdullah ibn Ubayy said, ‘Do not spend on those who are with the Messenger of Allah so that they become disunited.’ He said, ‘When we return to Madina, the mightier will drive out the humbler from it.’ I went to the Messenger of Allah and told him that and he sent for ‘Abdullah ibn Ubayy who took a strong oath swearing that he had not said it. They said, ‘Zayd has lied to the Messenger of Allah,” and I felt great distress inside me because of what they had said until Allah Almighty sent down a confirmation (of what I had said): ‘When the hypocrites come to you…’ (63). Then the Messenger of Allah , may Allah bless him and grant him peace, invited them in order to ask forgiveness for them but they arrogantly turned their heads away.” [Agreed upon]
1535. ‘A’isha said, “Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, asked the Prophet, ‘Abu Sufyan is miserly and does not give me enough for me and my children unless I take it from him without his knowledge.’ He said, ‘Take what is reasonably enough for you and your children.'” [Agreed upon]