What rights do my parents have upon me?

I have 3 elders sister all are married and i am unmarried working in a company.

The question is regarding my huquq my farz towards my mother and father.

When we 3 siblings  where teenager  but i was having 1 elder married sister, my mother get engage with a guy whose motive was to get engage and take her away  it was my neighbor conspiracy to destroy my family and that guy worked as per their plan. When she left away we all siblings my father begged her to come back but she didn’t. Now after 10 years she is willing to meet het daughters and grand son.I said her to leave that guy and live with us than u can meet ur son and daughters but she denied to leave her for her priority is that bad guy.

Than i stopped talking to her.

Now i need to know what is my responsibilities towards my mother? Is it mandatory to attend her funeral.

My father looked after us but got married now he is not looking after my sisters because of my step mom he is only listening to her.

Please tell me my responsibilities towards my father.

I am in depression about my faraiz as per islam.

Zajakallah

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Brother in Islam,

We take note of the contents of the unfortunate situation you refer to in your email.

There are two issues regarding your parents:

1)     Rights towards parents

2)     Errors committed by parents

1)     Shari’ah has placed great emphasis upon the rights of the parents.

Allah Ta’āla says:

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَن لَّا تَعْبُدُوْا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا 

Translation:

“And your Lord has decreed that you do not worship anyone except Him and that you be kind towards your parents”[1]

In fact, Allah Ta’āla has commanded us to fulfil the rights of our parents even if they are not Muslims.

Allah Ta’āla says:

وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِيْ مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوْفًا 

Translation:

“And if they (the parents) command you to perform shirk with me (Allah) with that which you do not have knowledge, then do not obey them. [However], be kind to them in this world”[2]

The Fuqahā’ have mentioned the following etiquettes for children towards their parents[3]:

1. The child should not raise his/her voice above the parents’ voice
2. The child should not shout at his/her parents
3. The child should not walk in front of the parents
4. The child should not call the parents by their names
5. The child should be humble in front of the parents
6. The child should serve the parents and not delegate someone else to serve the parents
7. The child should obey the parents even if they are non-Muslim in matters that are permitted by the Shari’ah
8. The child should respect the parents’ friends
9. If the child does not live with the parents, the child should visit them once a week
10. The child should fulfil any promises made to the parents
11. The child should fulfil the will of the parents after their deaths
12. The child should visit the graves of the parents
13. The child should make duā’ for the parents
14. The child should give Sadaqah on behalf of the parents

2)     The second issue is how to deal with errors and mistakes committed by parents.

Our parents are human beings and bound to err. [4] However, that should not be a reason to break ties with them.

One should apply wisdom and diplomacy in correcting them to the best of one’s ability. In your case, your mother’s errors and mistakes should not lead you to deprive her of maintaining ties with her children.

She gave birth to you and your siblings. Her favours overpower her mistakes, if indeed they were mistakes.

We make du’ā that Allah Ta’āla alleviate your difficulties.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best 

Muadh Chati

Student Darul Iftaa
Blackburn, England, UK

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.