Asslamalikum, I have one request regarding masterbation. As a brother, I urge you to help me seek guidance properly. I have been avoiding it for such a long time. I have learned that in order for me to increase my iman, I cannot just shut off these things immediately, slowly, it has progressed towards a successful way. From once I used to masterbate 5-6 times a day , is now once in 1-2 months!!! Inshallah I will stop. HOwever, I live in the west, everywhere i look it is so hard for me to control myself. I try my ultimate best to stop. I have even reduced watching T.V.to once per 2-3 months! It has helped thank god. However, I need tips to read quran as i have stopped reciting it, also I need tips as to how I can gain allah’s friendship, his trust. I feel masterbation is the biggest sin in my life. I really would like to end it, I feel so bad after I get the urge to do it. This western society forces you to do it. I need tips to make my imaan stronger than the sheytaan’s voice. please help, jazakallah.
Please forgive me the long delay in responding to your query.
You seem to be on the right track as far as giving up your masturbation is concerned. I suggest that you try fasting as often as possible in order to get rid of your habit fairly quickly. Do also keep yourself in a state of constant wudhu, recite zikr constantly and turn to the Quran and salaah as often as possible. You may be living in the west as you say. However, the choices are yours as to whether you will internalize all the filth you see around you or whether you will avoid it like the plague and seek Allah Ta’ala’s pleasure. Nobody is forcing you to follow the dictates of watching TV, reading porn and gazing upon non-mahram women. That is a choice you make. Merciful Allah Ta’ala has given us two wonderful gifts. One is the ability to reason and the other is to understand what we are all about. Animals have not been given this treasure and unlike non Muslims, we are not expected to follow any activity blindly. We are expected to use our powers of reasoning and come to an understanding and figure out if certain activities will be of benefit to us or not. Ultimately, every action of ours can be an act of ibaadah if done for the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala. Or it can become a passport to the pit of hell if we perform it to satisfy our lust, nafs and shaitaan.
It is pleasing to note that you realize the difficulty you are in and that you wish to do something about it. Make a point of selecting a certain time of the day everyday which will be put aside only for reciting the Quran, making zikr and istigfaar. No matter what you are doing, remove yourself to perform this activity. It is like when you get up to get ready for college or work. You are up and go through the motions of preparing yourself for the day. So tell yourself that you have a daily appointment with Allah Ta’ala to get yourself away from shaitaan’s clutches and you just cannot miss that appointment. I also suggest that you get copies of the Ma’ariful Quran which is excellent in explaining to you exactly what is expected of you as a Muslim and how to conduct your life. It is very important to understand what your stay on earth entails. Insha’allah you will gain a greater understanding of just how special you are as you have imaan which is the greatest gift any human can have.
May Allah ta’ala guide you away from what displeases Him and may you gain His pleasure in abundance, ameen.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
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CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai