Assalamualaikum,
I am a graduate student and married with two small kids. My wife doesn’t work, and I have a part-time job which doesn’t pay much. I don’t have to pay rent nowadays because we are living in my father’s rental property, so that’s a big help in terms of expenses, but I still have to pay for utilities, car insurance, phone, Internet, food, and university tuition. Also, my wife has student loans which we still need to pay off, but alhamdulillah our current savings are more than the amount owed. I’m hesitant to pay it off completely though because we are currently dipping into our savings for our household expenses because my current job doesn’t cover them. I don’t want it to be that I pay off the loan and then risk not being able to complete my master’s degree as a result.
I used to work in Saudi Arabia, where we lived for a few years before we recently moved back to the US so that I could get a masters degree and then hopefully move back to Saudi Arabia. While there our financial situation was comfortable alhamdulillah.
My wife insists on the importance of consuming organic food and drinks. In light of the price difference, am I expected to provide that for her?
Jazakumullah!
الجواب وباللہ التوفیق
Should the husband be made the standard or the wife in regards to the financial status and the ease of spending in the matter of household expenditure, the Fatwa in this matter is that the status of both of them will be considered, i.e., if both are rich then food, clothing, and residence of the rich will have to be provided, and if both are poor then of the poor, but if one is rich and the other is poor then considering both of them an average maintenance allowance will be obligatory. Therefore, if the man is rich and the woman is poor then it will not be obligatory for the man to feed the food of his status rather he would feed the average level food to her i.e., neither of the rich nor of the poor, however, the better way in this scenario is to whatever way he is eating, wearing, or residing make the same arrangement for her too and similarly if the man is poor and the woman is rich then it will be necessary for the man to provide average kind of food, clothing, and residence which though will be over and above his capacity but till he gets the ease of spending the over and above amount will keep becoming debt on the husband.
Therefore, if you are providing your wife an average maintenance allowance then it is enough. If her demand is above your capacity then it is not necessary for you to accept it, especially in the condition that you have the debt too. In such situation, the husband and wife should have each other’s consideration not that a person insists and puts the other in difficulty. In one Hadith Nabi ﷺ said to Hazrat Mu’az رضی اللہ عنہ:
إِنَّ أَخْوَفَ مَا أَتَخَوَّفُ عَلَيْكُمْ فِتْنَةُ النِّسَاءِ إِذَا تَسَوَّرْنَ الذَّهَبَ،وَلَبِسْنَ رَيْطَ الشَّامِ، فَأَتْعَبْنَ الْغَنِيَّ، وَكَلَّفْنَ الْفَقِيرَ مَا لَا يَجِدُ۔(ابن ابی شیبہ:37281)
Translation: The most fear I have for you is the tribulation of women when they will be adorned with gold bracelets, will wear soft expensive Syrian clothes, so they will tire the rich person (in acquiring those expensive and precious jewelry and dresses) and will make the poor person obligated of such things which he will not be able to afford.
Therefore, have her understand that due to other present necessities you don’t have that much financial capacity, when Allaah T’aalaa will provide you the ease in spending then Inshaa Allaah you will surely expand the spending.
لمافی الدرالمختار (۵۷۴/۳):فتستحق النفقة ( بقدر حالهما ) به يفتى يخاطب بقدر وسعه والباقي دين إلى الميسرة ولو موسرا وهي فقيرة لا يلزمه أن يطعمها مما يأكل بل يندب۔وفی الشامیۃ تحتہ: قوله ( به يفتى ) كذا في الهداية ،وهو قول الخصاف ، وفي الولوالجية وهو الصحيح وعليه الفتوى ، وظاهر الرواية اعتبار حاله فقط وبه قال جمع كثير من المشايخ ونص عليه محمد وفي التحفة والبدائع أنه الصحيح ، بحرلكن المتون والشروح على الأول وفي الخانية وقال بعض الناس يعتبر حال المرأة قال في البحر واتفقوا على وجوب نفقة الموسرين إذا كانا موسرين وعلى نفقة المعسرين إذا كانا معسرين و إنما الاختلاف فيما إذا كان أحدهما موسرا والآخر معسرا فعلى ظاهر الرواية الاعتبار لحال الرجل فإن كان موسرا وهي معسرة فعليه نفقة الموسرين وفي عكسه نفقة المعسرين وأما على المفتى به فتجب نفقة الوسط في المسألتين وهو فوق نفقة المعسرة ودون نفقة الموسرة اھ۔
[ تنبيه ]صرحوا ببيان اليسار والإعسار في نفقة الأقارب ولم أر من عرفهما في نفقة الزوجة ولعلهم وكلوا ذلك إلى العرف والنظر إلى الحال من التوسع في الإنفاق وعدمه ويؤيده قول البدائع حتى لو كان الرجل مفرطا في اليسار يأكل خبز الحواري ولحم الدجاج والمرأة مفرطة في الفقر تأكل في بيت أهلها خبز الشعير يطعمها خبز الحنطة ولحم الشاة قوله ( ويخاطب الخ ) صرح به في الهداية وقد غفل عنه في غاية البيان فقال إذا كان معسرا وهي موسرة وأوجبنا الوسط فقط كلفناه بما ليس في وسعه قوله ( والباقي ) أي ما يكمل نفقة الوسط ۔
واللہ اعلم بالصواب