Assalamualaikum Warahmatullah
My paternal grandfather showers a lot of love on me, he says that “you are the only grandchild on whom I can rely.”
Recently I noticed that he has started kissing me on my lips only when he finds me alone for example I was washing my hands just before lunch. I found out later that he did similar actions with my aunt (his daughter in law) and would tell her that she is like a daughter to him.
I don’t know how I should stop this behavior. If I don’t visit them then my grandmother calls me over. Recently when my grandmother asked me to stay with them, I refused due to my grandfather’s behavior.
When everyone is around he just kisses me on my forehead but when my grandmother is in the kitchen and no one is around he just holds me tightly and kisses me. I have tried to run away but he caught me. When this happened today, I told my mother, and that this has been happening for some time now, she said she can’t tell him directly out of shame and if she tells my grandmother she will not accept or believe it.
I do not know how I should react to this situation. Please guide me.
الجواب و باللہ التوفیق
Assalamualaikum Warahmatullah
As per the situation described in your question, it is incumbent upon you to stay away from your grandfather and diminish any possibilities of contact with him. Try to refrain from every chance, which can lead to you and him being alone. If meeting him is necessary then you should meet him in complete purdah and from a reasonable physical distance. In addition, due to your grandfather’s actions, your grandmother has become haram upon him, it is impermissible for them to live together and repentance and asking for forgiveness from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta‘ala is also a must in this situation. You should involve the elders of your family to bring this issue to light. As far as the issue pertaining your aunt is concerned, any relationship of the sort mentioned in your question between your grandfather and aunt is extremely dangerous and can lead to absolute separation and severing of relationship between your uncle and aunt. You should immediately inform your uncle about this as well and bring his attention to this matter. Finally, for further details of the issue pertaining to your aunty, provide a detailed written account in order to receive an exact Shar‘ai ruling in their matter.
من مستہ امرأۃ بشہوۃ حرمت علیہ أمہا وبنتہا، وقال الشافعي: لا تحرم، وعلی ہٰذا الخلاف مسہ امرأۃ بشہوۃ ونظرہ إلی فرجہا۔ (الفتاویٰ التاتارخانیۃ ۴؍۵۷ رقم: ۵۵۱۸ زکریا)وحرم أیضاً بالصہریۃ … أصل ممسوسۃ بشہوۃ ولو بشعر علی الرأس … وفروعہن مطلقاً۔ (الدر المختار ۴؍۱۰۷-۱۰۸)
ثم المس إنما یوجب حرمۃ المصاہرۃ إذا لم یکن بینہما ثوب، أما إذا کان بینہما ثوب، فإن کان صفیقًا لا یجد الماس حرارۃ الممسوس لا تثبت حرمۃ المصاہرۃ، وإن انتشرت آلتہ بذٰلک، وإن کان رفیقا بحیث تصل حرارۃ الممسوس إلی یدہ تثبت کذا في الذخیرۃ۔ (الفتاویٰ الہندیۃ / القسم الثاني المحرمات بالصہریۃ ۱؍۲۷۴ زکریا)
وانصرف اللمس إلی أي موضع من البدن بغیر حائل، وأما إذا کان بحائل، فإن وصلت حرارۃ البدن إلی یدہ تثبت الحرمۃ وإلا فلا، کذا في أکثر الکتب۔ فما في الذخیرۃ من أن الشیخ الإمام ظہیر الدین یفتی بالحرمۃ في القبلۃ علی الفم والذقن والخد والرأس، وإن کان علی المقنعۃ محمول علی ما إذا کانت المقنعۃ رقیقۃ تصل الحرارۃ معہا کما قدمناہ۔ (البحر الرائق / فصل في المحرمات ۳؍۱۷۷ زکریا)
وفیہ أیضا (۳۶/۳) :لو مس أو قبل وقال لم أشته صدق إلا إذا كان المس على الفرج والتقبيل في الفم اھ وهذا هو الموافق لما سينقله الشارح عن الحدادي ولما نقله عنه في البحر قائلا ورجحه في فتح القدير وألحق الخد بالفم اھ۔
فقط واللہ اعلم بالصواب