Assalamualaikum,
I am 29 yr old and have been married to my husband for almost 7 years now. However i have suffered emensely throughout the entirety of our marriage as my husband was a very stingy man. He was always fighting with me over my money and belitteling me on smallest things and mentally torturing me. We also have a 4yr old son and after many years i got sick and tired of him and filed for divorce in family court in 08/2018. In addition to mental torture , he is an incessant liar and he did not want me to pursue my education as a dental professional even though he agreed to it before we got married. I sponsored him to come to US and he paid for my living expenses when I was in another state and studying and he demanded me to pay that money back. Then he also tried to financially starve me and my son by withdrawing all money out of our joint account (it was his money) and closing all credit cards. I was very frustrated as I was with my parents at that time so I did not want to be financial burden on them for me and my son as my father did not have a job at that time. So i went to bank and they reversed his transactions and gave me 40% of the amount in the bank. Then he lied to me and made false promises (like he did all the time) again that he would change his habits. Please note he also send his shirtless pictures to my younger sister and invvited her on date when In was away and my sister told me about it and it broke my trust in him. Now i have divorce filed in court and he is demanding all of the Mahr (70 gms of 22k gold) and all of his money back. I have used that money for my food clothing and shelter since 08/2018 as he refused to let me enter his house and he changed the locks to the doors. He also has the custody of our son and I am in Chicago and hes in NJ. I told him he didnt give me khula so whatever I spend on my food clothing and shelter from that money that I have of his is halal and once he divorce me he can get the rest back. Also , we have child but he is demanding Mahr back . is that a valid reason to ask for Mahr as neither is he pious nor was he a good husband to me. Please advice as he continues to torture me mentally that I am eating from haram money. If i do return the money to him that I have left he will not pay me for anything , nor would he divorce me so i was forced to go to bank to forcefully get that money out as I am still his wife islamically and dont want to burden my parents financially. I have also now moved to Chicago for my dental studies so I can later do job and support myself. please advice as I would like to set this straight. Also , once he signs on the divorce decree , will that be a valid divorce islamically?
JazakAllah
For the correct guidance in this issue please come to the Chicago Office of the Sharia’h Board of America, Inshaa Allaah after looking into all the matters a satisfactory resolution will be achieved.