Answered by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari
My questions to you are: My marriage contract stated that upon employment I’m responsible for utilities, providing for my children, and food, nothing else. From my understanding utilities are gas and electricity. Is my husband responsible for everything else? Laundry, phone, storage etc. If I weren’t employed would my husband be responsible for finding and providing us with healthcare coverage including for my children who are Muslim? Is it fair that he pay only $1000.00 a month here in this household because I work and foot the total of all bills at the home of his first wife because she chooses not to? And she doesn’t have to, because he goes out of his way to make sure her and his children needs are met. If my husband’s needs are met sexually and I’m performing my duties as a wife, cooking cleaning, laundry and I decide to work am I entitled to full maintenance? Am I only responsible for what’s noted in my marriage contract? Is it O.K. for my husband to send letters and reply via email to other Muslim women whom he previously discussed marriage with to council them when he’s not a qualified sheikh nor is he a marriage counselor? (These women are supposedly now married but I found that they’ve been emailing each other for months.) Or should I just quit my job and let him be totally responsible for everything full maintenance including healthcare cost and delivery of our unborn child? Please keep in mind that our marriage isn’t considered legal by western society so the billing for everything will be sent to me not him and if it’s not paid I’ll be responsible for payment. Your reply and advice is greatly appreciated.
Financial support and maintenance (nafaqah) is the exclusive responsibility of the husband and not the wife. Allah Most High says:
This financial support (nafaqah) is binding upon the husband throughout the marriage if the wife gives herself to him or offers to. (al-Mawsili, al-Ikhtiyar, 4/229).
Thus, it is your husband’s responsibility to provide you with financial support and maintain you according to his means. He must provide you with adequate shelter, food, clothes and pay all the normal bills, for the responsibility of maintenance rests entirely on the shoulder of the husband.
However, in accordance with the Qur’anic verse mentioned above, the jurists (fuqaha) mention that in providing this Nafaqah, the financial position of both the husband and wife will be considered.
The great Hanafi jurist (faqih), Allama Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) states quoting from al-Bahr:
“The (Hanafi) scholars have agreed on the fact that if both the husband and wife are rich, then the wife will receive the nafaqah of rich people. If they both are poor, she will receive that of the poor. If the husband is poor and the wife is from a rich family or vice versa then according to the chosen opinion (mufta bihi) in the school, the wife will receive maintenance that is of an average quality.” (Radd al-Muhtar ala al-Durr, 3/574-575)
As for what is stated in your marriage contract that your husband will provide you with certain things and not others, it should be known that even if this was stipulated in the marriage contract, Islamically it is void.
If the conditions that are stipulated in the marriage-contract are contrary to the concept of marriage, such as, the condition that the wife will not receive her dowry, financial support, or the condition that the husband will not have the right to have sexual intercourse with his wife, or that he will divorce his first wife, etc, then such conditions will be void. However, they will have no effect on the validity of the marriage; neither will any of the spouses be obliged to fulfill them.
Imam al-Bukhari (Allah have mercy on him) formed a separate chapter in his famous Sahih’ on the impermissibility of such conditions under the title: “Chapter regarding conditions that are unlawful in the contract of marriage”. Thereafter he produced the following Hadith:
He also quoted the following statement of Sayyiduna Abd Allah ibn Mas’ud (Allah be pleased with him): “A woman should not make a condition (at the time of marriage) of her (Muslim) sister to be divorced.” (ibid)
The great Hadith master (hafidh), Imam Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani (Allah have mercy on him) states in his monumental commentary of Sahih al-Bukhari:
Therefore, the condition placed in the marriage contract that you will be responsible for utilities, etc will be void. You are not responsible whatsoever to maintain yourself or pay for the bills etc. However, if your young children are from a previous marriage, then your current husband will not be responsible to pay for their maintenance. Your ex-husband will be responsible for there maintenance.
Finally, remember that these matters are best resolved peacefully with each party putting the interests and needs of the other before their own needs. May Allah Most High assist and bless you and your husband, Insha Allah.
And Allah knows best.