Answered by Shaykh Gibril F Haddad
I am in a very difficult situation and aim to do the right thing by my iman and the shariah, this is why I come to you for advice. I pray insha’Allah that you receive this in good health and will be able to help me.
Wa `alaykum as-Salam:
Your question indicates you have crossed the line with him both before his marriage and after, for which you should fear for your soul and need to repent earnestly.
Yet, the path you have chosen in continuing contact is the opposite of repentance, so you both have now added a third sin to the first two, which are among the gravest of enormities. This shows the opposite of iman and shows that Shaytan is continuing to lead you astray.
Your hope of becoming his second wife is like your former hope of becoming his first wife, another trap by which Shaytan wishes to cause more of your rebellion against Allah and cause harm to the servants of Allah through you both.
How long will you test the patience of Allah Ta`ala?
Leave that destructive path and repent to Allah with sincere resolve once and for all. Repentance means: control yourself; no more contact with that man; and turn a new leaf.
Only then will your `ibaada and du`a have any meaning.
May Allah help you in your aiming to do the right thing and seeking a solution from Divine guidance with sincerity and true fear of His punishment.
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GF Haddad