I am here to ask a question regarding getting married at a young age in modern day society.
I am a boy, aged 16 and will be turning 17 very soon. In Islam, there is no stage called ‘teenager’. It is only child, and then adult. In the eyes of Islam, I am regarded as a man, but in the eyes of the Law I am still a child.
Living the UK, society plays a lot of pressure on ‘teenagers’ to form close relationships with the opposite sex and form some sort of haraam relationship.
My family Alhamdulillah are very strong with their deen, I am always in good company. So i tend to stay away from this bad behaviour.
My question to you is that, how can I, a young muslim in a modern corrupt society get married in a halal way?
I want to get married soon In Sha Allah. I don’t want to have any haraam relationships, and waste time with this boyfriend girlfriend thing. I’ve already told my brother that i want to get married soon because it is very hard to lower my gaze in school, and my nafz and temptations just overwhelms whilst in school. I’ve even told me mother that I plan to inshallah get married soon, and she always doesn’t mind with the idea. Please note that I don’t want to get married just to fufil my needs, but I want to start a family and have a relationship to avoid zina. Now a days, people have children very late and once the child grows up, there is no common interest between the parent and child due to the huge age gap. I experienced this with my parents. I want to avoid this by getting married soon and Inshallah have a my own family soon.
But the only problem I have how do i get married in a halal way?
My mum has already told me that she can get me married to one of my cousins, and that she really wants me to get married to one of them. Unfortunately, I don’t feel any sort of attraction towards them. In my school, there is a girl that I am attracted too. We spend a lot of time with each other by ourselves. I try and avoid this as much as I can because I know its haraam and that shaytaan can tempt us to do many things, but she is always trying to find ways to get us by ourselves. I don’t want to avoid her because she might think I am not interested, and she might go to other boys.
I am just so confused on how to get married in a halal way, especially because of society. This modern day society makes it very hard for us young muslims to get married in a halal way.
Please give me some advice! I am so confused!
Jazak Allahu Khayr in advance.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Your attitude towards marriage is correct and commendable. However, we do not understand your query: “how do I get married in a halaal way”.
We advise you to confide in your mother and tell her about how you feel towards your cousins and your attraction to the girl in school. In the meanwhile, you should sever contact with the girl as that is Haraam. Such a relationship will incur the wrath of Allah ﷻ on you and deprive you of the Noor of Islam in your heart.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Ahmad Jafari
Student Darul Iftaa
Atlanta, GA, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
صحيح البخاري (4/ 59)
3006 – حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنْ عَمْرٍو، عَنْ أَبِي مَعْبَدٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا، أَنَّهُ: سَمِعَ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، يَقُولُ: «لاَ يَخْلُوَنَّ رَجُلٌ بِامْرَأَةٍ، وَلاَ تُسَافِرَنَّ امْرَأَةٌ إِلَّا وَمَعَهَا مَحْرَمٌ»، فَقَامَ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، اكْتُتِبْتُ فِي غَزْوَةِ كَذَا وَكَذَا، وَخَرَجَتِ امْرَأَتِي حَاجَّةً، قَالَ: اذْهَبْ فَحُجَّ مَعَ امْرَأَتِكَ
سنن الترمذي ت بشار (4/ 35)
2165 – حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ مَنِيعٍ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا النَّضْرُ بْنُ إِسْمَاعِيلَ أَبُو الْمُغِيرَةِ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ سُوقَةَ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللهِ بْنِ دِينَارٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ قَالَ: خَطَبَنَا عُمَرُ بِالجَابِيَةِ فَقَالَ: يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ، إِنِّي قُمْتُ فِيكُمْ كَمَقَامِ رَسُولِ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فِينَا فَقَالَ: أُوصِيكُمْ بِأَصْحَابِي، ثُمَّ الَّذِينَ يَلُونَهُمْ، ثُمَّ الَّذِينَ يَلُونَهُمْ، ثُمَّ يَفْشُو الكَذِبُ حَتَّى يَحْلِفَ الرَّجُلُ وَلاَ يُسْتَحْلَفُ، وَيَشْهَدَ الشَّاهِدُ وَلاَ يُسْتَشْهَدُ، أَلاَ لاَ يَخْلُوَنَّ رَجُلٌ بِامْرَأَةٍ إِلاَّ كَانَ ثَالِثَهُمَا الشَّيْطَانُ، عَلَيْكُمْ بِالجَمَاعَةِ وَإِيَّاكُمْ وَالفُرْقَةَ فَإِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ مَعَ الوَاحِدِ وَهُوَ مِنَ الاِثْنَيْنِ أَبْعَدُ، مَنْ أَرَادَ بُحْبُوحَةَ الجَنَّةِ فَلْيَلْزَمُ الجَمَاعَةَ، مَنْ سَرَّتْهُ حَسَنَتُهُ وَسَاءَتْهُ سَيِّئَتُهُ فَذَلِكَ الْمُؤْمِنُ