Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
I have a question regarding what is the least one should do after being with their wife (regarding purification). And what is the best one can do. Can you answer this question for both the husband and wife.
1. If intercourse or ejaculation takes place, a purificatory bath (ghusl) is required.
2. If there is direct (skin-to-skin) contact of the erect male organ with the female front private parts, then ritual ablution (wudu) is required, if neither intercourse or ejaculation took place.
3. It is recommended, but not obligatory, to make wudu when there is any physical contact with someone of the opposite sex (before praying, touching the Qur’an, or the like), because this is obligatory in some schools.
As for the fiqh of purificatory baths (ghusl):
`Ala’ al-Din `Abidin said in his al-Hadiyya al-`Ala’iyya:
The Purificatory Bath (Ghusl)
The obligatory actions of the purificatory bath are:
(1) To rinse out the mouth and
(2) nose, and
(3) to wash the entire body, including all that is possible to wash without undue hardship.
It is not necessary for a woman to undo her braids, if the water reaches the roots of her hair, (f: and it is not necessary that the water reach all her braided hair).
It is necessary, however for a man who had braids to undo them (f: to ensure that the water reach every single hair).
Its confirmed sunnas are:
(1) To begin by saying Bismillah (‘In the name of Allah’) before revealing one’s nakedness (`awra), and with an intention (f: as in the ablution).
(2) To begin by washing one’s hand, private parts, and any filth (najasa) that may be on the body.
(3) Then one washes both private parts, even if they are free of filth.
(4) Then one performs a complete ablution.
(5) Then one pours water on one’s body three times, making sure the entire body is washed each time.
(6) One begins with the head, then the right should, then the left, and then the rest of the body. One wipes with the first washing.
(7) The body parts should be washed successively (f: without excessive intervals).
Unlike the ablution, it is valid to wash a body part with the water used in washing another, as long as it is enough to drip.
If one submerges oneself in flowing water, or moves in a large body of still water, it is considered that all the sunna acts were performed.
Its proper manners (adab) are:
The same proper manners as in ablution,
Except that one does not face the qibla
The actions disliked in the ablution are disliked in the purificatory bath.
THE COMPLETE PURIFACATORY BATH (GHUSL)
Sidi Sohail Hanif
Obligatory Confirmed Sunna Recommended Slightly Disliked
Throughout
Cover your nakedness, to the extent reasonably possible Facing the direction of prayer & invocating if naked
Wasting water. (Excessive waste of water, is prohibitively disliked and sinful.)
Beginning
Begin with the name of Allah and formulate the intention whilst washing the hands up to the wrists
Wash the impurity from one’s body
Wash the private parts
Perform a complete ritual ablution with all its sunna acts
Wash the entire body making sure that the water reaches all parts of the body.
It is obligatory to wash the mouth and nose. Wash three times and rub the body the first time. (Note that washing the entire body once counts as one washing.) Start each time by pouring water onto the head, followed by the right shoulder, then the left shoulder, and rub the body.
Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,
Faraz Rabbani