Al-jawab billahi at-taufeeq (the answer with Allah’s guidance)
All scholars have no dispute about the point that it is prohibited for Muslim females to frequently visit the cemetery. This is due to the authentic Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H.) who said : ” May Allah curse the women who are frequently visiting the cemetery ” (Authentic, Tirmithi).
But if the visit is not frequent , most scholars say it is Makrouh ( disliked action ).
In the Hanafi School, it is permissible for old women to visit graves provided no act which is contrary to the Shariah, is practiced. If there is a fear of loud crying, wailing or the intermingling with men, then it will be impermissible.
As far as the young women are concerned, if the above mentioned conditions are met with, then it is permissible, although disliked.
If a female visits the grave to remember death and soften without crying, there is nothing wrong if they are old. It is Makrooh if they are young (Shaami vol. 1 p. 665 – Maajidiyya)
It is stated in one of the foremost references for Fatawa in the Hanafi School al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya:
“The Scholars differed about women visiting graves. Imam al-Sarakhsi (Allah have mercy on him) said: The most correct opinion is that it is not wrong”. (al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, V.5, p. 350).
The great Hanafi jurist, Allama Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) states in his Radd al-Muhtar (Super commentary on al-Haskafi’s Durr al-Mukhtar, and one considered a fundamental source in the Hanafi School):
“The soundest opinion in the School is that it is permissible for women to visit the graves. Al-Ramali said: “If they visit graves to renew their sorrows, or to cry and wail, as is the customary practice of many, then it is not permissible. This is how the Prophetic Hadith “Allah has cursed women who visit graves” is understood. However, if they visit for contemplation, compassion and seeking Baraka, then it is not wrong if they are elderly. It is disliked if they are young” (V.2, P.242).
And Only Allah Ta’ala Knows Best.
Moulana Qamruz Zaman