My cousin is getting married soon, and I am anticipating his Walima invitation. Problem is, the walima will be a mixed gender program with no gender separation. Their family is a moderately practicing family. Will it be permissible for me to attend the walima in such a gathering? Isn’t it obligatory for to respond to a walima invitation?
Answer
Assalāmuʿalaykum Wa Raḥmatullāhi Wa Barakātuh
On one hand is the matter of accepting a Walīmah invitation, which is binding upon you. This is your duty towards your family member.
On the other hand, there is the matter of attending a mixed gathering, which is not permissible, and you should refrain from it. This is your duty towards Allāh ﷻ.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“There is no obedience to the creation if it involves disobeying the Creator.” [Bukhārī]
Based on the Ḥadīth mentioned above, it is understood that your duty towards Allāh ﷻ precedes and supersedes your duty towards your family member; hence, you should not attend.
Remember, when Allāh ﷻ is chosen above creation, then He will grant respect, honor, and dignity to you. Even though you might not attend the function, In Shā Allāh, Allāh ﷻ will not allow any family tension and issues to arise as a result thereof.
We further advise that you excuse yourself using wisdom and a well-thought approach.
And Allaah Ta’aala knows best
Wassalaam,
Ismail Moosa (Mufti)