Assalamu Alaikum
I hope you are well by the grace of God.
Shaykh, I have two questions for you.
At first I apologize for the big questions.
Question 1: Shaykh, after my marriage I have not yet brought my wife home. Now I do not earn a good income. But I want to support my wife with what I earn. But, my parents want me to give them all the money I earn. They don’t like taking care of my wife. When I want to take care of my wife, they take pains and get very angry with me. They want me to take care of my wife when I bring her home. Not before that. Now the main thing is, what will be my sin as a result of their unreasonable dissatisfaction? Because, I will not violate the rights of parents by claiming the rights of the wifeI want to fulfill my parents’ rights and my wife’s rights together. Will I be a sinner because of my parents’ unreasonable dissatisfaction and mental anguish?
Question 2: Shaykh, my wife and I do not like to go abroad to earn money. We want to support our family by earning halal money without going abroad.(My father still lives in Saudi Arabia Alhamdulillah our family is still prosperous.) But, my parents want me to go abroad and earn millions of money. I don’t want to go abroad. Because, it makes me think that I can get involved in bad things because I will stay away from my wife. I don’t like to earn money away from her just to protect my character and neither does my wife. But, my parents don’t want to accept that. Because of this they are angry with me.
Is it permissible for them to be angry with me and to feel hurt? Or will allah be displeased with me? Am I sinner?
Jazakallah Khairan.
Answer
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
- Whilst a person has to respect and honour his parents, he should not obey them if they issue any commandment against the commandments of Allah.
It is your responsibility and duty to take care of the expenses of your wife, based on your financial ability.
You mentioned that your family is prosperous, hence, if your parents do not need any financial assistance, you are not obliged to spend on them.
You should continue spending on your wife. You will not be sinful for not following a demand of your parents which contradicts a divine decree of Allah.
It is also not incumbent upon you to divulge your earnings to your parents. They do not need to know how much you earn, whether you give your wife anything, and how much you give to her.
To avoid their anger, do not inform them of the amount you send to your wife.
You are still required to maintain the utmost respect for your parents.
- You have a valid reason for not wanting to migrate, and hence it is not incumbent on you to migrate. You will not be sinful for not migrating. You still need to be polite and kind to your parents, especially when they display anger towards you.
And Allaah Ta’aala knows best
Wassalaam,
Ismail Moosa (Mufti)
References
رَّبُّكُمْ أَعْلَمُ بِمَا فِي نُفُوسِكُمْ ۚ إِن تَكُونُوا صَالِحِينَ فَإِنَّهُ كَانَ لِلْأَوَّابِينَ غَفُورًا (الإسراء – 25)