IslamQA

Wedding night

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by DaruliftaaZambia.com

Question

Asalamualaikum the ibadah and Sunnah way to spend the first night with one’s wife? A simple explanation to that would help.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

The first night (Laylah al-Zufaaf) a couple spend together is perhaps the most important night in their marital life. Failure to observe correct moral etiquettes may result in long lasting negative effects in the relationship. Therefore, great care and caution should be taken at every step on this night. Hereunder are some guidelines for this night that will help one foster a good relationship and have a lasting good impression on one’s spouse: [1]

  • The first time a man meets his wife should be only after his Nikah. A growing trend of going out with one’s fiancé before the Nikah is totally contrary to Shari’ah and has proven to be detrimental to the marital relationship.
  • The husband should meet his wife in a secluded place where there is no chance of disturbance and violation of privacy.
  • The wife has left her parents’ home and will feel a little strange at the husband’s home in the beginning. The husband or his family should moderately furnish the couple’s room without extravagance so that she is comfortable and feels at home.
  • The husband should greet the wife with Salaam as soon as he enters the room and shake hands with her.
  • Thereafter, the husband should place his hand on the forelock of the wife and recite the following du’a:

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ خَيْرِهَا وَخَيْرِ مَا جُبِلَتْ عَلَيْهِ، وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّهَا وَشَرِّ مَا جُبِلَتْ عَلَيْهِ

Transliteration: Allahumma Inni As’aluka Min Khairihaa Wa Khairi ma Jubilat ‘Alayhi, Wa A’udhu  Bika Min Sharrihaa Wa Sharri ma Jubilat ‘Alayhi

Translation: ‘O Allah! I seek from You the good and blessings of this lady, and the goodness which You have created within her. And I seek Your protection from the evil of this lady, and whatever evil You have created in her.’

And the bride may recite this du’a:

اَللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ خَيْرِهِ وَخَيْرِ مَا جُبِلَ عَلَيْهِ، وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّهِ وَشَرِّ مَا جُبِلَ عَلَيْهِ

Transliteration: Allahumma Inni As’aluka Min Khairihi Wa Khairi ma Jubila ‘Alayhi, Wa A’udhu  Bika Min Sharrihi Wa Sharri ma Jubila ‘Alayhi

Translation: ‘O Allah! I seek from You the good and blessings of this man, and the goodness which You have created within him. And I seek Your protection from the evil of this man, and whatever evil You have created in him.’

  • It is advisable to present a gift to her (e.g. some jewellery) and share some refreshments with her.
  • The husband should say words of love to her and make her feel at home. He should engage with her in light-humored talk and say words that will make her happy and feel loved.
  • The couple should pray two rak’aat of nafl Salaah with the husband as the Imam and the wife following behind. The intention should be of making shukr to Allah for saving them from Haraam and granting each of them a suitable spouse. Coupled with that the intention of Tawbah, Tahajjud and Salaat al-Haajah should also be made.
  • Thereafter, they should supplicate to Allah to for goodness in the marriage, blessings, mutual love, faithfulness, chastity, marital success and pious children.

A man once came to Hadhrat ‘Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud Radhiyallahu ‘Anhu and said, “I married a woman but I fear discord (between us).” He replied, “Love is from Allah and discord is from Shaytaan so that he creates in him an aversion towards what Allah has permitted. When she is brought to you, ask her to pray two rak’aat behind you.”

He then said, “Then supplicate: O Allah! Bless my family for me and bless me for my family. O Allah! Grant me their good and grant them my good. O Allah! As long as you unite us, unite us upon good. And if you separate us, separate us on good.” [2]

  • It should be ensured that the couple perform their Fajr Salaah. It should not happen such that due to staying awake late, they sleep through the Fajr Salaah.

 

Intercourse on the First Night

Engaging in intercourse on the first night is not necessary. If both the spouses feel they are ready for it, they may do so. However, one should keep in mind the comfort of his wife. If she is reluctant or anxious, the husband should not persist in trying to convince her. He should approach the matter with calmness. She is not prepared, the husband should take her feelings into consideration.

 

Positions in Intercourse

There is no restriction on this in Shari’ah. Allah says:

نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّى شِئْتُمْ 

“Your women are tillage for you to cultivate. Approach your tillage from wherever you wish.”

  

For further information and detail, you may refer to the following link:

https://archive.org/details/IslamicGuideToSexualRelationsmuhammadIbnAdamAl-kawthari

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

 

Mufti Nabeel Valli

Darul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah

Lusaka, Zambia

 

[1] This section has been adapted from:

– Ashraf’s Blessings of Marriage, Pg. 102

– Islamic Guide To Sexual Relations, Pg. 116-120 

[2]

مصنف عبد الرزاق الصنعاني (6/ 191)

10460 – عَنِ الثَّوْرِيِّ، عَنِ الْأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ أَبِي وَائِلٍ قَالَ: جَاءَ رَجُلٌ مِنْ بَجِيلَةَ إِلَى عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، فَقَالَ: إِنِّي قَدْ تَزَوَّجْتُ جَارِيَةً بِكْرًا، وَإِنِّي قَدْ خَشِيتُ أَنْ تَفْرِكَنِي، فَقَالَ عَبْدُ اللَّهِ: «إِنَّ الْإِلْفَ مِنَ اللَّهِ، وَإِنَّ الْفَرْكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ، لِيُكَرِّهَ إِلَيْهِ مَا أَحَلَّ اللَّهُ لَهُ، فَإِذَا أُدْخِلَتْ عَلَيْكَ فَمُرْهَا فَلْتُصَلِّ خَلْفَكَ رَكْعَتَيْنِ»، قَالَ الْأَعْمَشُ: فَذَكَرْتُهُ لِإِبْرَاهِيمَ، فَقَالَ: قَالَ عَبْدُ اللَّهِ: ” وَقُلِ: اللَّهُمَّ، بَارِكْ لِي فِي أَهْلِي، وَبَارِكْ لَهُمْ فِيَّ، اللَّهُمَّ ارْزُقْنِي مِنْهُمْ، وَارْزُقْهُمْ مِنِّي، اللَّهُمَّ، اجْمَعْ بَيْنَنَا مَا جَمَعْتَ إِلَى خَيْرٍ، وَفَرِّقْ بَيْنَنَا إِذَا فَرَّقْتَ إِلَى خَيْرٍ

 

This answer was collected from Daruliftaazambia.com, which serves as a gateway to Darul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah – Lusaka, Zambia.

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