Bismillah Hirrahman Nirrahim Assalamu Alaikum Dear Brother, I am from India and working now in US. I am engaged to girl in India. I have her photo which I often see. Our engagement was held on December, 2000.Insha Allah, our marriage is scheduled to be held on May 2001. One of my friends in US told me to have correspondence with her, so that both can know each other. So, I asked permission from her father and talked to her over phone. I thought I will speak to her only once and then I will meet her in the marriage hall. But, we are having regular Email and telephone correspondence. But I could not control now. I am now totally confused with these communications. I kindly request you to clarify me in these regards and kindly inform me the rulings in these matters: – 1. Whether I can have my fiancée photo with me? 2. Can I have correspondence with her through Email? 3. Can I have correspondence with her through phone? 4. Can I kiss her over telephone, when talking to her? 5. Can my fiancée have correspondence with my brothers? 6. What should I do for all that I have done till this time? Do I need to ask Taubah? 7. Could you please tell me the Hadith, which says that the marriage should be held immediately after the engagement and within how many months? Waiting eagerly for your kind reply. Jazakallahu Khairun Khateeran. Warm Regards, Wassalam. Yours loving brother.
The concept of fiancée where the boy maintains an informal relationship with
the girl proposed in marriage is the influence of the western culture and is
unfounded in Islam. According to the Shariah, every type of pre-marital
relationship, communicating through e-mail, telephone etc. is strictly
prohibited. Besides the Shar’ee prohibition, there are many other negative
consequences to pre-marital relationships. In our experience in dealing with
similar cases, we have observed the following
1) Since the boy and girl are not formally committed to one another through
marriage, and have no experience of life, they engage in such discussions
that lead to disputes, thus breaking the proposal.
2) Pre-marital intimacy takes place. In many cases the boy abandons the girl
after having conceived, leading to abortion and many other heartaches.
In order to avoid the negative consequences of pre-marital relationships, we
advise that upon the acceptance of the marriage proposal, the elders of both
parties should expediate the early performance of the Nikaah. Islam is a
simple religion and advocates simplicity. A simple Nikaah is sufficient to
fulfill the purpose of the proposed union.
And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai