Answered by Shaykh Yūsuf Badāt
Question:
My husband has never supported me financially since he was forced to marry me. Since the birth of our children, he stopped giving me the little amount of money that he was forced to give by his mother. Now, even though I have started working part time, that money is still not enough (I work 10 hrs a week). I have asked him for money but he refuses to give me any. He gets roughly over £4000 a month. He hides money in a shirt, which I found today.
My question is, am I religiously allowed to take some of his money without his knowledge, or is it not allowed because it is theft. All the family have spoken to him but he is stubborn, will refuse to help me or even his children.
Answer:
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Jazāk Allāh Khayr/ Thank you for contacting Mathabah Institute.
Your husband will be sinful if he does not fulling his Islamic financial responsibility for you and his children, to provide basic necessities.
If you and the children are in a life and death situation due to no shelter, food, clothing and basic necessities, then only, it is permitted islamicaly for you to take what is required to sustain life, from his money without him knowing, otherwise it will be considered theft.
“Upon the father is the obligation of the mothers’ provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable.” – (Qur’ān 2:233)[1]
“Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted – let him spend from what Allāh has given him.” – (Qur’ān 65:7)[2]
“Hind Bint ‘Utba said, “O Allāh’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him)! [My husband] Abū Sufyān is a miser. He does not give me what is sufficient for me and my children. Can I take of his property without his knowledge?” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) replied, “Take what is sufficient for you and your children, and the amount should be just and reasonable.” – (Ṣaḥīḥ Bukhārī 5364)[3]
Only Allāh knows best.
[1] وَعَلَى الْمَوْلُودِ لَهُ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ – البقرة ٢٣٣
[2] لِيُنفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِّن سَعَتِهِ ۖ وَمَن قُدِرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُ فَلْيُنفِقْ مِمَّا آتَاهُ اللَّهُ – الطلاق ٦
[3] عَنْ عَائِشَةَ أَنَّ هِنْدَ بِنْتَ عُتْبَةَ، قَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ أَبَا سُفْيَانَ رَجُلٌ شَحِيحٌ، وَلَيْسَ يُعْطِينِي مَا يَكْفِينِي وَوَلَدِي إِلاَّ مَا أَخَذْتُ مِنْهُ وَهْوَ لاَ يَعْلَمُ فَقَالَ خُذِي مَا يَكْفِيكِ وَوَلَدَكِ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ - البخاري ٥٣٦٤