Answered by Shaykh Nazim Mangera
I have committed zina and feel extremely guilty for having done it more than once whilst knowing it is wrong. I am ashamed, cannot study, sleep or do anything, and although I have resolved to never do this again, I am still with the same person. Are prayers I am currently offering valid or am I a hypocrite? How can I rid myself of the anxiety and unrest? Am I to lie if asked about my virginity? Will it be unjust for me to later marry a virgin?
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful.
Assalamu Alaikum,
One of the signs of a believer is that after committing a sin, they feel guilty about it. So it is a good sign that you have a feeling of guilt about your action. You must try to stay away from the person who you committed this sin with. Repent sincerely over your actions.
Your prayers are valid. To relieve your anxiety and unrest, recite the Noble Quran as much as possible. Turn towards Allah and start doing good actions and try to obey Him in all walks of your life.
Allah states in the Noble Quran, “Those who believe, and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah, for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.” (Surah 13:28) Remembrance of Allah does not only mean that we make Zikr with a Tasbeeh in our hands. It could also mean that in all aspects of our lives, we obey Allah. Every person who is obeying Allah is remembering Allah. If Allah is obeyed, then our hearts will be at rest and a feeling of tranquility and serenity will envelop us continuously.
When Allah is disobeyed, then sometimes he snatches away our feeling of tranquility, and even though we will have the biggest of houses, the best of cars, and the softest of beds and sofas, we will be taking pills for depression and distress. Is it any wonder that in America, every 17 minutes someone commits suicide? Is it any wonder that the most prescribed medicine in America is for depression? So a feeling of peace and serenity can not be achieved by worldly materialistic things. That feeling does not have a physical existence. It is not something which can be bought from a Pharmacy in the form of medicine and pills. It is a feeling which comes from Allah and also snatched away by Allah. When He is obeyed, He will fill our lives with peace and tranquility, and when He is disobeyed, He might deprive us of that feeling of ease and comfort.
People should not be asking you if you are a virgin or not. I don’t know if a virgin only marries a virgin, but I would say that a fornicator deserves a fornicator and a virgin deserves a virgin. You ask if it is unjust to marry a virgin or not. Ask yourself the question of whether you deserve a virgin or do you deserve a person who has lost their virginity for a few moments of fleeting pleasure and everlasting guilt? I personally think that you should get married to the person who you lost your virginity to.
The best Dua I can prescribe for you is to start obeying Allah and sever all contacts with the person [until you marry him] and Insha Allah your feeling of unrest will be alleviated very quickly.
May Allah grant us all a life of tranquility before and after death.
Sincerely,
Nazim Mangera
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