Age – 20
Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
Question: I hope you are well. I had haraam sexual contact with a girl last year. I have since repented (may Allah accept). I wanted to inquire if I am classed as a zaani (fornicator). Did intercourse take place? ………………….. I wanted to know if this act was classed as zina. I understand the sin, but it is playing on my conscience that do i fall into this category of fornicators and thus attracting the wrath of Allah mentioned in the Qur’an and Ahaadeeth.
Also I am bayt to a Shaykh. I have heard him mention that if a mureed leaves the sin and has made taubah then he should not mention it to his shaykh, only mention it if the sin is still being committed and one is finding it difficult to leave. But due to my guilty conscience I’m in a dilemma whether I should inform him or not. He can’t advise further as i have repented and taken actions to make sure this never occurs again inshaAllah so it would just involve me telling him due to the guilty conscience.
Also once taubah is done, one should have hope that it was accepted however, when making dua and reading qur’an/ahaadeeth etc I can not help but think that I am under this category and that i am applicable to the punishment. When i get married would I have to tell my wife if she asked whether i have had intercourse or not?
2) tuition fee loan where the tuition fees are paid directly to the university (not the standard loan) is haraam according to what i have heard from ulamaa and ifta departments, hence this year i did not take it, however due to financial constraints I am finding it very difficult. I have heard some people saying that you said it is jaaiz. Is this true? if not how do i go about the sin as i took the tuition fee loan for 2 years without knowing it was haraam but have found out recently it is. I will have to pay back interest at inflation once i earn a certain amount. I did give my zakat on the loan at the time as well.
Sorry for the use of the crude language, I am ashamed of even narrating this to you, but the the shame has dragged me here to find out if i am classed as a fornicator and if i am classsed as having lost my ‘virginity’.
May Allah accept your efforts.
Looking forward to your reply.
Answer: In your case zina did take place, however, Tawba will be accepted and so you should never mention this again, not in front of your sheikh nor anyone else. And you don’t need to tell your wife either. Only a person who has contracted some illness due to zina (e.g. HIV) should not get married without declaring it.
So clear your mind. Thinking about an act, even when doing Istighfar from it, also brings the Zulmat and darkness of that Gunah (sin) in the heart. So just get it out of your mind, and behave properly in future. May Allah accept your tawbah and grant you istiqamat.
2) A tuition loan should not be taken unless there is no other solution. See if some relatives can help you out. If there is no other way and you have to educate yourself, and you feel you are under the category of a mudhtarr, then take it reluctantly. Keep doing Istighfar and pay it off as soon as possible. May Allah make things easy for you.