Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
I am guilty of zina and I think fornication. The brother and I have decided to stop communication for the sake of Allah, for Ramadan and Insha’Allah hope never to return to this low state. Yet I am finding this extremely difficult. I have already contacted the brother several times during ramadan and he is loosing his patience with me. My mum knows about him but tells me to wait for marriage as it will look suspicious suddenly marrying in the middle of me degree.. My father doesn’t know but is pressuring me to pursue my studies and get a good job etc. I am so scared of falling back in this sin. I feel my heart is dead. I don’t know what to do. I feel strong desires inside me. I’ve repented several times and have kept returning to the sin. How do I gain control of this vicious circle? How do I put these desires to rest? I want to marry so badly because I know I am playing with fire and time is running out. Allah has kept my grave sins hidden but this can not go on.
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate. May His blessings and peace be on His Beloved Prophet, the best of creation, and his family, companions, and followers.
Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,
One should marry someone good for one’s religion and relationship with Allah. Someone who would be willing to commit zina is not normally the sort of person a committed Muslimsuch as yourselfshould marry.
Rather, the guidance of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) entails cutting off all relations with such an individual for the sake of Allah, and:
a) sincere repentance Please go to www.SunniPath.com, and search for sincere repentance;
b) keeping good company, especially when feeling weak. Allah Most High tells us, “O you who believe, fear Allah and be with those true.”
You should be steadfast in performing and seeking to perfect your daily prayers; recite Qur’an daily; and make as much remembrance of Allah as you are able, with as much passion, love, and thankfulness as you can muster.
If you are unable to control your desires, after taking the reasonable means to subdue them, then you must take the means to marry. Be firm and resolute; and work at convincing your parents, with patience, perseverance, and excellence of conduct.
And Allah alone gives success.
Wassalam,
Faraz Rabbani