and I have had an independent istakhara done which came out fine Marshallah. However, he says as soon as it gets nearer to the part of his parents coming to my father’s house he gets scared. he says he feels I will leave him after a few months of marriage. I have 34 years old and so is he – he has been married before and he was forced into that marriage by his parents. Please can you give me a dua for him to read to get rid of his fear. Also a dua for me to be patient.
Jazakallah for requesting assistance from the institute. You write that your intended husband is experiencing anxiety as he is unsure about your sincerity.
I would firstly like to point out to you that as you are not married yet, you should abstain from seeing and speaking to him. It is not acceptable in Islam to be in constant contact with a non-mahram male. You could ask your parents to speak to him and reassure him that you are sincere in your intentions. If the local imaam or a respected elder knows your parents well, it may help if he speaks to the young man and reassures him about your family background and your character.
It is important for him to deal with the ” emotional baggage” he is still carrying with him. It appears he has lost trust in ‘women’ due to his previous experience with his first wife. If what you say is correct, then he should consider going for counselling and to work through and deal with his past in a realistic manner. He needs to make a fresh start. He has doubts about your sincerity but what he needs to do is to focus on his own reasoning and anxieties. It is possible that this problem could impinge on his future interactions and relationship with you.
I suggest that you continue to perform lots of tahajjud salaah, increase recitation of the Holy Quran, zikr, darood shareef and make lots of istigfaar too. Make duas specifically for your needs. May Allah Ta’ala guide both of you. Ameen.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
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CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai