Q: I hope you can somewhat help me with my problem even though it’s all in Allah’s hand. I’ve been married for 2 years Alhamdulilah. I love my husband and we connected because of Islam from the beginning. We are practicing our faith together but his parents and sister are putting so much fitnah. I’m 7 months pregnant Alhamdulilah. I’ve had problems beforehand with them because they are very controlling and blame me for their son changing. I explain to them we all have to change when we get married and even before In order to go to jannah. His father is an alcoholic and violent and his mother is a pathological liar. My husband is torn because he wants to make things right because in Islam we have to be forgiving. We live in a 2 family home and things have escalated with his father threatening to hit me because he wants his son to listen to them and only them. He watches haram on tv. Even though I don’t see it, it’s on the recently browsed on my tv. She has smoked cigarettes in the house knowing I have asthma and hasn’t apologized. The list of things can go on and on. I want an apology. I’ve been stressed out so much and it’s not healthy on me or my baby. It’s easy for someone to forgive their own siblings and parents. This has also made more disputes arise between my husband and I. I love him and know they are his parents but I don’t want to give in without an apology. It’s killing me inside. I don’t think he should forgive so easily without an apology and forget what his parents and sister have said and done to me especially being pregnant. I’m so stuck.
A: It is not right of them to be behaving in this manner. Your husband should be considerate towards you, However, we advise that don’t make their problem into your problem. If they conform to the right standards, Allah will see them favourably and if they don’t wish to conform then why do you wish to be deprived of His special favour and mercy. You continue with the good conduct, ways and mannerism. May Allah Ta`ala make it easy for you and make the child to be a bundle of joy.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)