Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher
My husband is unable to have any children expect through the IVF process. We have attempted two times and still I am unable to conceive. Should I divorce him and start a new life with a man with no problems? I love my husband, but I don’t want to go through life without children.
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful
Dear Sister,
This is a very sensitive topic so please think things through before you make any decision. Salat al-Istikhara, or the Guidance Prayer, is especially important here.
Yes, you can ask for a divorce, but consider how this will affect your husband. He is probably already hurting because of the infertility issue. If you divorce him, you may be sending the message that his only worth as a person is in having children, and if he can’t have children, then being with him is just not worth it.
If you love him and he is truly a good person, then why not try to work with what you have?I know that having your own biological child is important to you, but consider the fact that there are so many children out there in need of loving families. Have you thought about adoption? Allah willing, you could adopt an infant and possibly even breastfeed him or her to deal with the mahram issues.
Finally, please don’t give up on IVF just yet. I still think it’s worth another try to save your marriage.
Last but not least, please consult a reliable scholar about the best way to proceed.
And Allah knows best.