Answered by Shaykh Amjad Rasheed
My friend allowed her daughter to be brought into this world in a manner that was against the Sharia. How can she ask Allah to forgive her when she cannot forgive herself? This mistake happened only once and it was with the person she subsequently married. However, she still feels deep remorse and I believe that this issue is killing her. I beg you for advice.

There is no doubt that fornication is unlawful and is an enormity that entails punishment in this life and the hereafter for the one who does it. The one who invites to indecency is without doubt also sinful.
As to the punishment for the fornicator in this life, there is a distinction between the married [fornicator] and the unmarried. The married fornicator is someone who has had sexual intercourse in a valid marriage contract [and then goes on to commit adultery]. In an Islamic State, this person is subject to stoning until death. However, the unmarried [fornicator] is whipped 100 lashes and banished for a year, according to the hadith. No one but the Imam or his representative is allowed to carry out the penalty for fornication. This crime cannot be proven against someone unless he/she confesses, or four upright male witnesses give eyewitness testimony that they saw the unlawful sexual intercourse take place. It is not enough for them to have merely seen the preliminaries to intercourse.
It is better for the person who falls into this sin to protect himself by not telling people. Even if someone admits to having fornicated and the authorities seek to impose the penalty on him/her, this person can recant his admission and say, “I did not fornicate,” and the penalty cannot be imposed. This is the mercy of Allah for His slave and His protection for him.
As to the person who calls to indecency and incites people therein, he or she is not punished as aforementioned as long as he or she has not fornicated. However, this person is one of those who make mischief on the earth and will find a painful punishment when they meet Allah if they do not repent.
As for the punishment in the hereafter for the fornicator and the one who called him/her to it, their affair is with Allah. The punishment can be forfeited if he/she sincerely repents to Allah. Repentance consists of leaving the sin, feeling remorse for having done it, and resolving to never go back to it. When this happens, repentance happens. According to a hadith, “The person who repents from a sin is like someone who has no sins.” In another hadith, “Every son of Adam is a sinner, and the best of the sinners are those who repent.”
Allah the Exalted has described the slaves of the Merciful in Surat al-Furqan as those who do not fornicate. He also says, “And whoever does this [fornication] shall receive the punishment except those who repent and believe, and do righteous deeds, for those, Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” Let the sinner look at Allah’s magnificent mercy and grace. The Exalted did not stop at just forgiving the sin and overlooking it, He also changes the sin into good deeds for those whose repentance is sincere. So let every sinner among us hasten to repent.
Allah says in Surat al-Zumar, calling his sinful slaves to repent, “Say: O My slaves who have transgressed against themselves! Despair not of the mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
In conclusion, this woman should not despair of Allah’s mercy.
If she has sincerely repented from this sin, she should think well of Allah that He will forgive her and change her bad deeds into good ones.
Amjad Rasheed
[Translated by Sr. Zaynab Ansari]