Answered by Shaykh Hamza Karamali, SunniPath Academy Teacher
I understand that it is bad adab to refuse an invitation to a Muslim brother’s house. However, is there a way to do this, and to do so politely, if the invitation is from someone whom you fear may be a weakening influence on your Iman, whom you notice to have hypocritical tendencies, and whom you are afraid that you yourself can not teach to improve? The person in question has great “claims” to scholarship, but we fear being influenced by some of his habits (he has invited us to learn with him).
Answer:
wa ‘alaykum as salam wa rahmatullah
- It is blameworthy to harbour unsubstantiated suspicions about one’s Muslim brother. Wherever possible, one should interpret their actions in a positive light. Allah Most High says, “O you who believe! Shun most suspicion, for verily, some suspicion is a sin.” (Hujurat: 12)
- When one’s brother’s actions are not capable of being interpreted positively, one should be careful not to allow contempt for him to take root in one’s heart. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) defined arrogance as, “to reject the truth and look down on people,” and the hadiths and Qur’anic verses warning against arrogance are many.
- Spending one’s time with someone who offers no this-worldly or other-worldly benefit is at best a waste of time and at worst a means of drawing one into sin. This is why Ibn ‘Ata’illah (Allah be pleased with him) said, “Keep not the company of someone whose state does not awaken you and whose words do not direct you to Allah.” To politely taper off one’s dealings with such people would be praiseworthy even if it comes across as bad adab, since good adab towards Allah takes precedence over (what seems like) good adab towards other people. One can politely reduce one’s interaction with such people by, for example, acting bored and disinterested in their presence until they go off and find someone else, or by making other plans and then turning down their invitation on the pretext of being busy at that particular time. These are only examples. Other methods may be more appropriate in your case. Be imaginative. 🙂