Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: I am a convert woman and I am about to get married. Do I move away from my mother, who is a single working parent? I am an only child.
Also, she is Catholic and there are Idols, pictures, and sculptures everywhere.
I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for clarifying this issue.
Abu Huraira reported that a person said: “Allah’s Messenger, who amongst the people is most deserving of my good treatment? He said: Your mother, again your mother, again your mother, then your father, then your nearest relatives according to the order (of nearness).”
MashaAllah, may Allah reward you for having such sincere concern for your mother. I pray that Allah blesses you with pious and compassionate children who will also have sincere concern for you.
Especially in the early stage of your marriage, there is great wisdom in living alone with your husband. Enjoy the solitude and use this opportunity to solidify your relationship. Have you spoken to your husband about your living arrangements? What is his opinion?
It is permissible for you to move out of your mother’s home after you get married. For a detailed explanation, please read this article: A Wife’s Right to Housing Seperate From Her In-Laws.
Is it possible for you to still live close to your mother? If that is not possible, then please ensure that you are in regular contact with your mother. Ideally, call her every day, and make it a point to visit her regularly. Is it feasible for you to visit her at least once a fortnight? Or once a month? You know your situation best. I encourage you to enroll in this course, The Rights of Parents.
As your mother gets older and is in greater need of your support, then do consider moving in with her. Please try to work out an arrangement where at least your private living space is free from idols and the like. If she is willing, then there is the option of her moving in with you.
There is tremendous reward in looking after elderly parents, especially when it is difficult. I pray that Allah guides your mother to Islam, and reunites her with you in the highest level of Jannah.
[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers through Qibla Academy and SeekersHub Global. She also graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales.