alsalam o aliukum warahmatullah
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Assalaamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh.
Allah the Exalted said, “And those who, when they have committed Fahishah (illegal sexual intercourse etc.) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins; – and none can forgive sins but Allah – And do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know. For such, the reward is forgiveness from their Lord, and Gardens with rivers flowing underneath (Paradise), wherein they shall abide forever. How excellent is this reward for those who act (who do righteous deeds according to Allahs Orders). (Aal-e-Imran, 136/7)
Know, and may Allah be merciful to you, that Allah, the Exalted has made repentance a protection for the exposed bad actions, a purification for the impurities of error, a destruction for what has passed and a preparation for what will come. Repentance is the life after death (meaning the death of the hearts). (Sabeel-un-Najaah)
Alhamdulillaah, at least you realise your mistake. You are right that the doors of tawbah are always open. May Allaah accept your repentence and may He bless you with the ability to remain steadfast. Ameen.
Please refer to the following link for the answer to your question:
http://www.muftisays.com/qa.php?viewpage=viewQA&question=2921
And Allaah knows best.
Wassalaam.
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A. Z. Pandor
