Q: Since Ramadaan I tried to bring a change to my lifestyle . I started my tahajjud and I’m trying to refrain from intermingling and to be more strict with my purda and form of niqaab. I would like to don the jilbaab but I am scared. Scared of spiralling down after been on this spiritual high. It has happened to me before that is why I am so afraid. Also my husband dosn’t seem to be impressed and is of no support in any way whatsoever. We live in a house of Aalims all together. Unfortunately our parda is zilch. I don’t know how to proceed. How do I hold fast onto haq and this feeling of only wanting to do that which is atqa. My desire has always been to memorise the quraan as well. Can mufti please advise me. I don’t want to lose this feeling of closeness to Allah Ta’ala. I’m so scared that I’m going to get lazy and lethargic and will slowly retrogress whatsoever. What must I do. Am I doing too many things at once? I am an aalima. I just feel like Allah Ta’ala has lifted a blindfold from my eyes and I now see things very differently. I am ashamed the change is only coming now. All the years I have been so relaxed and negligent. Please advise me. I sometimes feel like I’m fighting a battle alone and everyone is just waiting for me to fall.
A: Go on trying and don’t ever fail to try. Allah Ta`ala appreciates your trying and endeavour. If you slip, get up again and try again. Insha-Allah, Allah Ta`ala will give you the ability one day to be firm on taqwa and righteousness. Don’t at all be concerned of the criticism that you receive in the journey of the love of Allah Ta`ala.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)