I needed to explain the conditions and how the talaq was given.
Please note that we had daily intense hours n hours of arguments by text.
My wife due to low self esteem consistantly think i will get another wife as she learnt islam allows 4. I explained taqdeer on our first meeting. We made nikkah within 3months. 4 wives haunted her in my absence. She is stubborn but acknowledges ALLAH. May ALLAH use this situation as a means of hidayaat for us all. Aameen
The false accusatios & degrading insults
drove me furious, hurt & frustrated. I responded with vulgar insulting worst messages without thinking nor considering her fears or childhood distress. She had experience almost all the worst a child could grow up with. eg Her dad shot himself she was 13, Her mum was n is suffering from a disorder showed resentment to my wife from birth, to my understand. She distance from them. Furthermore My wife handed over her son to his at age 5. Im saying this to describe her inner pains n bitter fears.
We are both are hot tempered and have insulted in the worst of words.
Alhamdulillah we have recently agreed to go for counselling n started.
During these bitter insulting 8hr a day texting battles.
I have said talaq as follows:
2 seperate talaqs via a Text Message Making with clear niyaat from heart.
“Ya Allah please forgive us. I am giving talaq with understanding the talaq will fall away if we are physical. Ya Allah please use this as a means of hidayat for us.”
Then send text ” on this day im giving u talaq.
1 verbal talaq, my parents witnessed as we seeked their help n was discussing. Things got out of control.
I said ” im giving you talaq””
But Also with silent niyaat
“Yáa ALLAH please forgive us “I am giving talaq with understanding the talaq will fall if we are physical. Please use this as a means of hidayat.””
I ONLY FOUND OUT LAST WEEK ABOUT only 3 TALAQS AVAILABLE.
The talaqs where not said with knowledge thats permanent. The talaqs where giving with belief n intention it will fall.
Maaf for troubling, please assist
May Allah guide bless n protect us all.
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
Inspite of all that explanation, the ruling will still remain the same.
The wife’s past, the intention at the time of utterance, the circumstances at that time and ignorance of the correct ruling are not valid excuses.
Thus, she will have to go into ‘Iddah immediately.
And Allaah Ta’aala knows best
Ismail Moosa (Mufti)
This answer was collected from Fatwaa.com which is an excellent Q&A site managed by Mufti Ismail Moosa from South Africa. .