Answered by: Maulana Burhaan Rahman
Hope mufti sab is well, I’m a 23-year-old male intending on starting an alim course but I also want to get married. I keep getting mixed advice from people some say to get married some say don’t it’s a distraction.
Personally, I would like to get married so I’m not distracted by the thought of marriage all the time, my parents are capable of supporting me financially. Could mufti sab please advise me?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
An important verse to remember in all circumstances of life is:
إن الله لا يضيع أجر المحسنين
Indeed Allah does not put to waste the good of the good-doers [Surah Hud 115]
You are not nullifying any reward in studying alimiyah whilst being married.
Our beloved prophet (SAW) has mentioned:
يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ، فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ، وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ، وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ، فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ
O, young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power. [Bukhari Hadeeth no: 5066]
Rather you are getting so much reward fulfilling a great sunnah of our beloved prophet (SAW):
النِّكَاحُ مِنْ سُنَّتِي فَمَنْ لَمْ يَعْمَلْ بِسُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي وَتَزَوَّجُوا فَإِنِّي مُكَاثِرٌ بِكُمُ الأُمَمَ وَمَنْ كَانَ ذَا طَوْلٍ فَلْيَنْكِحْ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَجِدْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصِّيَامِ فَإِنَّ الصَّوْمَ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ
Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast for it will diminish his desire. [Sunan Ibn Majah Hadeeth no: 1846]
You mentioned your parents are able to take care of you financially. That is a bonus by the will of Allah.
However, to the best of your ability be there for your wife physically, mentally and financially:
الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means [Surah Nisaa verse 34]
As long as you can give your wife the right of providing for her and you are able to give her time, alimiyyah will not be a hindrance in your marriage. Moreover, it will actually grant more blessings in your marriage as you are obeying Allah by gaining some beneficial knowledge as our beloved prophet (SAW) has mentioned:
طَلَبُ الْعِلْمِ فَرِيضَةٌ عَلَى كُلِّ مُسْلِمٍ
Seeking knowledge is a duty upon every Muslim [Sunan ibn Majah Hadeeth no: 224]
Seeking knowledge is an obligatory action for every Muslim- therefore there is no harm in studying given you are not neglecting your wife and her needs.
With all of this, being persistent in Du’a is advised as we need strength and recognition from Allah at all times.
May Allah SWT accept every good intention and allow us to learn about the religion of Islam with our sincere hearts and minds.
Only Allah knows best.
Written by Maulana Burhaan Rahman
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham