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What are the guidelines before marriage?

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by DarulIftaBirmingham
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Answered by:  Shaykh Umer Khan​


Question:


There is a revert brother who is going to get married very soon. Does anyone have some guidelines on the do’s and don’ts before and after nikah?


 


Answer:


In The Name Of Allah, The Most-Merciful, The Most Kind


 


Before the nikaḥ:


1.   It is highly recommended to seek pre-marital counselling before the wedding. This can allow the man and the woman to get help from a professional to discuss deep and important topics before the marriage instead of after.


2.   It is important to remember that prior to the nikaḥ, there is no relationship between the man and a woman. As such, the man and woman should never be alone together, and they should have no physical contact.


3.   The wedding should be planned in a manner that is pleasing to Allāh, without inappropriate intermingling between the genders, customs imported from other religions or against Islam, music, dancing, etc.


4.   Care should be taken to fulfil all of the conditions of an Islamic wedding, such as having witnesses (two male, or one male and two female), proper offer and acceptance, dowry, and so on. It is best to consult a local Islamic scholar to validate that all conditions are being fulfilled properly.


5.   Both the man and woman should learn about their upcoming duties and obligations as spouses, learn the Islamic rulings around marriage, and also learn the legality of sexual acts (for example, Islam does not allow sodomy, nor intercourse during menstruation).


After the nikaḥ:


1.   Remember the words of Allāh that he has placed between spouses “mawaddah and rahmah”, i.e. love and mercy (Qur’ān: 30:21). These characteristics are the key to a successful marriage, and both husband and wife should strive to implement them in their relationship with each other.


2.   Remember that marriage is simultaneously a contract/commitment and an act of worship. Violating this contract through adultery, or even watching pornography, is one of the filthiest acts in Islam, and is considered one of the most major sins that one can commit.


3.   While marriage is a contract, it is also a relationship. Both husband and wife should go above and beyond their duties and obligations to support and help each other, respect each other, consult each other, be patient with each other, and be grateful to each other.


4.   The husband and wife should encourage each other towards Iman and Islam, helping each other improve themselves, be more productive, learn the religion together, and act upon it together.


5.   Marriage is the building block of society. Healthy marriages contribute to thriving and happy households and lay the groundwork for generations of a strong Muslim ummah. It is therefore important to focus not just on the marriage itself, but also on learning, improving and implementing sound parenting skills.


 


 


Only Allah knows best


Written by Shaykh Umer Khan


Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah


Darul Ifta Birmingham


This answer was collected from DarulIftaBirmingham.co.uk, which is run under the supervision of Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah from the United Kingdom.

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