I am separated from my christian husband for more than a year now and I took my shahada last Nov.2008 without the knowledge of my sister or my mum. My eldest son who is 10 years old is the only person in the family that I have discussed it with. My family has the feeling that I am thinking about converting to Islam hence I get an odd call and email from my relatives telling me to marry within the christian faith. Its been a big struggle for me…I was even called by a suitor as MUSLIM bitch because i refused to see or meet him. I prayed for forgiveness and just cried.
I have some very pressing questions that I need an answer as soon as possible please.
Firstly, my two boys are living with my mum in my home country in Asia but I am supporting them i.e education, food, shelter and clothing. My ex-husband has refused to financially support them until they reach college or university wherein my eldest son can have access to a bank. He is afraid that I might use the money for my own gains.I am working full time and have my own small home business as well. I am earning more than him, too. Does he have the right to say NO if I bring up the children as Muslims. Would like them to be in madrasah when they get back to england InshaAllah.
Secondly, I am still legally married to my husband now that I am a Muslim?
Thirdly, I would like to meet a good, pious, responsible Muslim man to marry but I dont have a mahram or wali. I met this young muslim man and really like him. I did Isthikara and for several nights I couldnt remember what i had dreamt that night. One night after I did my namaaz and did salaat isthikara, I had a dream and it was a very clear dream. I was in a prayer room or masjid…everything is white or very bright ( i was even wearing white which i dont usually wear) and saw this very young imam. No beard and very sporty sitting on a chair in the middle of the masjid and i introduced myself and just stood there staring at him and studying him while he was writing something. The man I am praying for Isthikara is a professional sports man. What could be the meaning of this dream? Is this a POSITIVE sign from ALLAH that he is the right man for me? How i can I approach with the intenton oof marriage wothout a wali or mahram.
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Jazakillah for writing to us requesting advice regarding your family and your future. Please forgive the long delay in responding to your mail.
Alhamdoelillah, you have been guided to the right path. May Allah Ta’ala protect your imaan and no matter what obstacles you encounter, may He comfort you and keep you within His protection, ameen. Remain firm in your faith and if possible, confide in a Muslim friend to support you emotionally.
Sister, It is firstly suggested that you obtain a legal divorce from your Christian husband. Try to make as simple and easy for yourself as possible. If he and your family know that you are Muslim, they may just try to make things difficult for you. So be as discrete as possible till your divorce comes through. Since you earn more than him, you should be ok financially.
Secondly, try to teach your children the basics of Islam and with gentle guidance let them flow into Islam with ease so that they do not resent the introduction to the faith.
Do not allow your family to intimidate you at all. This will be a test in your life and Allah Ta’ala is always with you, do not fear or despair. Your dream appears to be a positive one. You can approach the imaam of the closet masjid to you to assist you in proposing and arranging the marriage to the man you write about.
And Allah knows best
Wassalam u Alaikum
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah