My daughter is in Grade 7 at a mix school and the school is organising some sort of get together by the end of the year for them. We got 3 suggestions to choose namely 1. Having a party at school followed by disco (R50) 2. Having a day at the Valley of Waves (R150) 3. Having a day at Wonder Waters (R75) I rejected all of them instinctively. However this was shortly followed by big arguments arising from my wife to justify its permissibility. She insisted that there are nothing haram in (2) and (3) since they are just outings and our daughter will know how to behave herself. She keeps on justifying herself by saying that our daughter will only be doing it once in her lifetime or we also went for outings when we were at school or also I am already doing a lot of sins, so what. I finally tell her to choose herself and not to indulge me in it anymore but, of course, I will subsequently have to pay for it. I want to know what is the Sharia ruling concerning such celebration as well as how, as a father, I must behave in that case.
According to the Shari?ah, you as a father are primarily responsible for the proper upbringing of your daughter, not your wife. It is incorrect for you to hand over the decision to her.
You are actually handing over to her a right to decide against Shari?ah. For that, you will be sinful. You must repent and assume your responsibility given to you by the Shari?ah. You were correct in rejecting all the three suggestions to celebrate your daughter’s last year. The very concept of celebrating is against the Shari?ah and the way of the non-Muslims. Rasulullah [Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam] said, ?Whosoever imitates a nation is from among them.? There is a serious warning in this Hadith. How would we feel if Rasulullah [Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam] excludes us from his followers as we imitate non-Muslims.
Unfortunately, we are excluding our ownselves from the practise and following of Rasulullah [Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam]. Your wife justifying the wrong itself is a major sin. Generally, such an attitude deprives one of tawbah as one does not believe the wrong to be wrong. Nevertheless, all three reasons cited by your wife are incorrect.
She says, ?There is nothing Haraam in it?. In fact, everything is Haram in it. The very concept of celebrating is Haraam as stated before. Music and disco is expressly prohibited in the Shari?ah. She also says, ?your daughter will behave herself?. What guarantee does she have that other will behave? Intermingling of sexes and sexual interferences are a common feature in such celebrations. It is important to point out that we deal with such issues very often. It will be highly irresponsible of any parent knowing of the prevalent immoralities to take such a risk. Your wife also states that she went outing when she was at school. That was also wrong. If she was saved from the evils of such outing, many others become victims. You do not know which category your daughter will fall in. What guarantee does she have that your daughter will not follow the path of some evil that have set into her heart in this celebration. Your wife should fear Allah and obey the laws of Allah. Be an example to her. Your daughter will appreciate that. In fact, as Muslims, you should stop the entire celebration to the best of your ability. It is not only your daughter’s life at risk, there are others at risk as well. To prohibit an evil is our responsibility.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai