I have a friend. she is too much involved in me. I tried my level best to avoid her but could not do so. she calls me everyday. once she came to meet me in my college, i don’t know why but shaitaan made me to do all that. i touched her, hold her hand and then in the end kissed her on her right cheek. i am so ashamed to myself after doing that. May Allah forgive me. please tell me some solution so that i could get my normal state of mind back. i offer prayer 5times a day. but that kiss and touching her had made me feel guilty. please tell me some solution because i think that after doing this all of my good deeds go in vain. what punishment i will be receiving on doing this. she calls me too much, if i will stop her then what she will think because i was involved in her too. Kindly reply me!
Please forgive the long delay in responding to your mail.
The solution to your problem is simple. Stop talking to this girl completely. Do not accept her phone calls. Stop answering all phone calls in your house for a while, let the other family members do so. If you happen to pick up the phone when she calls, put the phone down. This may sound rude but the whole point is that in telling her that you do not want to talk to her will lead to a further discussion as to the ‘why’ for and ‘wherefore’.
Put the incident of your physical contact with her completely out of your mind. Perform two rakaah salaah, thereafter make sincere istigfaar and make a sincere promise to AllahTa’ala that you will not indulge in a close encounter with a non-mahram woman again.Keep your gaze permanently lowered when you are out in public. Avoid attending mixed gatherings. Also avoid the areas she frequents in your college. Do not dwell on what she will think of you. Focus on Allah Ta’ala and strive to gain His pleasure. Do not concern yourself with trying to be a smart guy just for a woman who is not your mahram. If you are ready for marriage and can afford to support a wife, then approach your parents and get married.
If you are not ready for marriage, then focus on completing your secular education and also learn what your duties will be in future as a Muslim husband and father. There is much to learn before you get married and before bringing someone else’s daughter into your home. You will learn that modesty and respect for women is very important and that you should avoid making passes and touching someone’s else’s daughter. You cannot place all the blame on her as you gave in to your nafs. You also have a responsibility to act on your knowledge of not being alone with a non mahram woman. Insha’allah after you make sincere dua and tawbah, do not go back to this activity again and maintain your modesty, Allah Ta’ala will forgive you and guide you to be an upright Muslim man.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
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CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai