And he has a very low interest for sex.and he is not happy with this marraige too. he always wanted and tried for the second marraige but he is very weak in making decisions. he always says to me that am not a correct person for him. and blames me for all his failures. and apart from all this he goes to his job forceably and he is not happy with this life at all, and he does not have any interest in any thing,he does not even supports me financially except my foods, he also gave me Talaq 2 times and every time within 3 months he re joined me by his own wish.Its been 22 years we married and do not have kids… by medical reports I have hormonal problem and his reports are clear… and I took every kind of treatment but, as Its totally up to Allah Taa’laa if HE wants to give any thing to anyone than no body can stop HIM……. Please Mufti sahab help me out of this problems and show me the right path.. JazakAllah !! So now my questions are: am I responsible for all his failure ? Is that OK to live with this man who always has negetive feelings for me…. Is Nikah Valid in this situation when a man has no intention by his heart to live with his wife. Coz some times I feel may be he can a wife who is better than me, Will it be good for me to separte from him.
Your emotional turmoil and trauma is of concern.
Firstly, was your husband initially happy in your marriage? Has he been subjected to comments and ridicule damaging his male ego on possible issues, including not having the ability to father a child? Has his concern for second wife stemmed from the need for children? Look for short term goals and successes for you as a couple, e.g. What if you both adopt a child (according to Shar’ee laws), will this bring happiness?
Identify his positive points like his character, features and small successes in your marital life. Discuss what pleases you in your sexual relationship. If requiring physical stamina, eat such nutritional foods and vitamins which increases vitality. Perhaps, change of place, job to his liking may enhance his moods and your relationship in turn.
Is there a possibility that he has taken interest in some other women and may have guilt, hence, situation.
Make him important ? beautify yourself, luring him and loving him. Make the effort and Du’aas. Increase your Tawbah and resign the will to Allah Ta’ala. Don?t focus on blaming, but bring in laughter, love and romance to the marriage. It’s a challenge and you are never too old.
May Allah Ta’ala make it easy. Whatever the outcome, don’t be depressed. Insha Allah, you will be rewarded.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
2SOCIAL DEPT.
CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai