AS Salaamu Alaikum. I?m 18 years old and I work part time in a shop. A Muslim girl started to work there also 7 seven months ago and I’ve realised that I really like her. I can’t stop doing things for her like helping her and stopping people back chatting behind her back. I know that as a Muslim I should “Lower my gaze” but I can’t help the way I feel. She is very kind and sweet and so it makes matters even worse for me. I don’t know what to do.
Jazaakumullah for your query. We are very pleased to note that there are some youth out there who are concerned about the religion despite the widespread of evil and corruption. May Allah Ta’ala make you an upright and pious Muslim.
We are very fortunate that Allah Ta’ala, out of his sheer mercy, has blessed us with a comprehensive religion which covers all aspects of our life and is filled with morals and etiquettes. This make Islam completely different from all other religion. It provides directions and guidance for all our problems. A Muslim is not left in ?the dark? at any moment and time.
When we look in the Ahaadith, we find that Rasulullah [sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam] has mentioned that ?You will not find anything that will increase mutual love between 2 lovers like how Nikah does, i.e. Nikah is the best form of generating love between 2 lovers.? (Mirqaat vol.6 pg.248)
Since you are 18 and a mature male. We advise you to start thinking in this direction. However, there are certain morals and etiquettes which have to be observed:
1. Make Mashura (consultation) with your parents / guardians / elders of your family in this regard. Their du’aas and blessings will take you a ?long way? in life.
2. Let them undertake the task of investigating the background of the girl, etc. and making the relevant enquiries. These aspects are vital and important for a happy marriage.
3. However, until no matter is finalised. We urge you and advise you to immediately cut off all kinds of contact with the girl which is prohibited in Islam, like unnecessary chatting or talking to her, etc. This is Zina (fornication) which is unaccepted in Islam and invokes the wrath and curse of our beloved Allah and beloved Rasul [sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam]. Rather, ask Allah to give you the patience, ability and guidance to restrain yourself from Haraam and grant you a wife who is in the best interest for you.
Don?t tarnish your Imaan for a few moments of temporary pleasure and then regret for the rest of your life. We make Du’aa that Allah grants you Istiqaamat and steadfastness on his obedience and grant you a partner who will be a source of coolness for you in this world and the hereafter.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai