I don’t know what to do. I am near tears. I reverted to Islam just over two years ago, I am now 16 years old, soon to be 17, and my relationship with my mother has never been rougher. My mother and I had a great relationship for many years, which, at first, got even better as I became a Muslim. At the time, she was fairly confident that it was a phase. After the third Ramadhan through which I fasted, she realised that Islam is no “phase” for me. She now believes that I don’t care about her, her husband (my step-father) or myself. She says I’m difficult to live with. She feels like I hate her. She is offended that I won’t eat the salmon made on her barbecue, and she is also really upset that I showed up late for a ride home one day on the weekend when I was with a Muslim friend (it was an accident, but she blames the religion). I am so confused. I don’t know what to do or say. She wants me to tell her who I hate: me, her, or her husband. “None” doesn’t suffice. I don’t think I can live here anymore. I have never felt worse in my life. I feel so empty and my heart feels frozen. What should I do? What can I say to her? Jazakallahu Khairun
Islam requires us to be polite to our parents even if they be non-Muslims. Irrespective of how she may treat you, your obligation is to be polite and courteous to her. If she orders you to do something against the dictates of Deen, refuse politely. If you feel that you won’t be able to practice on your Deen whilst living with them, look for alternative accommodation without breaking off contact with her.
Be tolerant with her and exercise patience – this is perhaps a test from Allah to gauge your resolve on His Deen. We pray to Allah to make everything easy for you.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Muhammad Kadwa
CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai (Fatwa Dept.)