Assalamualaikum Brother,
Need your advice on my Marriage issue. My Husband wants to divorce me and end this marriage of 2.5 yrs. We have a son of 1.5 yrs. He says he never loved me he hurried to say yes to this marriage as he was in depression at that time. Now all he say is we are not compatible enough I am sorry he says this marriage doesn’t allow him to be the person he wants to be and focus on his personal life like career and cricket playing. He refused to take me as his wife this problem is from past 10 months that we don’t sleep together. When I shared my problem with his parents regarding this even after trying to talk to him on this matter, he got angry saying he always wanted a separate life within this marriage and not ready to take basic responsibility of a wife or son or home. He just keep saying I love my son and I will provide him finance but he is not ready to let go our mistakes and start fresh as he is very clear and adamant about his personal life. He ignored me to such a extent that for past few months I have stayed all alone even being in marriage and with husband. My in-laws says adjust and go n see for how long you can manage. I tried convincing my husband from everyway he just left me at my parents home without informing me and left. Now when we called him to speak he just gave his decision of divorcing. His parents also agreed to what he said. Honestly even am at fault, I have shown impatience with him when he ignored me both mentally and physically as a wife. I started arguing with him for not taking up any responsibility towards home. He says I’m sorry I just don’t feel anything for u and part ways like civilized. I am not ready to divorce him I want to change myself forgetting every mistake or anger I have shown so far even till today morning. I have realized my mistakes and I don’t want to loose him for the sake of Allah and my son. Please guide me as I have just 3 days to officially do all this. I still love him and want to go back to him. Allah knows best.
Regards,
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We take note of the contents of your email.
We make dua Allah Taala grant you courage to overcome your difficulties and guide you to whatever is best for you and your son. Ameen.
You state your husband made a decision to divorce. What do you mean by that? Did he actually divorce you?
We advise that you identify an influential person from your family to discuss the issue with an influential person from your husband’s family to discuss the issue and intervene accordingly. This is based on the Quranic injunction,
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُوا حَكَمًا مِنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِنْ أَهْلِهَا إِنْ يُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا يُوَفِّقِ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرًا
And if you have reason to fear that a breach might occur between the [married] couple, appoint an arbiter from among his people and an arbiter from among her people; if they both want to set things right, Allah Taala may bring about their reconciliation. Behold, Allah Taala is indeed all-knowing, aware.
Also turn to Allah with dua and zikr. Ask Allah Ta’āla to guide you in these trying times. There may be some good hidden in your difficulty. Allah Ta’āla says,
عَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَى أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
“It possible that you may dislike something whilst it is good for you and it is possible that you love something whilst it is bad for you; Allah knows whilst you know not.”
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Huzaifah Deedat
Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.