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Parents object to marriage, what must i do

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

the parents were not inform about this Nikah because they refuse to marry their daughter to a married brother (against polygyny) and would like to marry her especially and exclusively to a Doctor (social reason). here is an introduction before the question in order to understand the present situation

a Nikah had been celebrated by a Scholar of Islam (Shafi i madhab) between a muslim brother who is married-who follow the Hanafi madhab and a muslim sister-who did not follow any madhab at the time of Nikah (now following the Hanafi madhab of the husband).note : the parents are following the Shafi i madhab.

the parents were not inform about this Nikah because they refuse to marry their daughter to a married brother (against polygyny) and would like to marry her especially and exclusively to a Doctor (social reason) but the daughter refused this kind of wedding and were ready to leave quickly the country where she is living with what some called a “salafi” brother.

She change her intention after meeting (in order to marry) and finally marry with a muslim brother from ahl-us-Sunnah wal-Djama a and is happy (now learning Alima course).but her parents is still not inform and they live secretly.this sister and brother fear that the parents will forbid her to see her husband (because of the reasons cited above).they are ready to live in another country because the husband got opportunity to do it.

the question is : what advice can we give them ?

 

Answer

At the outset, it is important to make the couple understand that the respect for parents cannot be compromised. Allah has empathically enjoined this obligation of respecting the parents at all times. From birth to the various stages a child undergoes, the parents sacrifice and always consider the well-being of the child. When the child grows up and blossoms into a young vibrant, flourishing teen, the parents have high expectations. They expect this child to marry and also enjoy his adulthood. But when the child goes against their expectations and makes his independent decisions without consulting the parents, they naturally become upset and helpless. This has serious implications on the future of the child as the broken heart of the parents reaches the throne of Allah unchecked.

The parents who always had the well being of the child at heart have surely seen some goodness in marrying the person they think appropriate. The parents have experience and will offer the best to the child. Furthermore, is the girl prepared to stay with this secrecy for the rest of her life? How much will she hide? Rasulullah () said “Jannah lies beneth the feet of the mother”. Therefore, the girl should be persuaded to return to her parents and if she is convinced that this particular boy is suitable, she should engage some seniors to try to convince her parents to accept the boy.. The girl should also consider her future if the marriage is unsuccessful, who will she return to? Then she could take the blessings of her parents and she will enjoy peace, love and total comfort.

And Allah Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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