Forcing wife into intercourse & placing hands on the chest after doing salaam

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

One of the objectives of marriage is to fulfill ones carnal desires and safeguard ones chastity. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi wa sallam referred to the objectives of marriage in the following words:

فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ [i]

Marriage lowers the gaze and maintains chastity of the private parts

Both spouses should consider the objective of marriage and endeavour to fulfil each other’s carnal desires to the best of one’s ability. Consider the following Ahadith in that regard:

إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَهُ إِلَى فِرَاشِهِ فَلَمْ تَأْتِهِ فَبَاتَ غَضْبَانَ عَلَيْهَا لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلاَئِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِحَ [ii]

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and thus he spends the night angry with her, the angels continue cursing her till the morning.”

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ : قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِذَا بَاتَتِ الْمَرْأَةُ مُهَاجِرَةً فِرَاشَ زَوْجِهَا لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلاَئِكَةُ حَتَّى تَرْجِعَ [iii]

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “If a woman spends the night deserting her husband’s bed (does not sleep with him), then the angels send their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband).”

إِذَا الرَّجُلُ دَعَا زَوْجَتَهُ لِحَاجَتِهِ فَلْتَأْتِهِ وَإِنْ كَانَتْ عَلَى التَّنُّورِ [iv]

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “When a man calls his wife to fulfill his need, then let her come, even if she is at the oven.” 

While the above Ahadith address women, men are not excluded from that obligation. He too is duty-bound to fulfill his wife’s carnal desires. In fact, if the husband takes an oath not to consummate with the wife for four months, he is penalised with the burden of a divorce from his side. This is referred to as إيلاء in the Quraan. It will be thus incorrect to deduce from the Ahadith that the injunction of intercourse in Shari’ah is a one sided issue and only directed to women.

Shari’ah does not recognise the concept of marital rape. However, intercourse is an outcome of an internal feeling to satisfy oneself which requires a parallel feeling from both spouses. A one sided intercourse does not provide such parallel and even feelings.

Your question is whether the husband can force his wife to have intercourse. It is clear from our aforesaid explanation that both spouses need to understand their marital obligation and adopt a parallel approach to each other, which requires wisdom, diplomacy and consideration. Thus force would not arise, albeit a forced intercourse in a marital relationship is not rape, rather fulfilling ones right from a rightful avenue rather than a wrong and haraam avenue.

The placing of the hands on the chest after making salaam is not part of the Sunnah way of making salaam. Generally, people place their hands on the chest after making salaam as an expression of happiness and satisfaction and not as a Sunnah practice of making salaam.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Aboobakr Siddeeq bin Mufti Amjad Mohammad

Student Darul Iftaa 

Azaadville, JHB, South Africa 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.