We have been married for three months. Before we got married, my husband promised to quit smoking, but I have not seen any progress so far. We are also hoping to get pregnant. Thus, I am very worried that his smoking has negative effect on me and the future baby. Every time I bring it up to him, he insists that I pressure him too much. But I did not “push” him the past few years of him smoking, hoping that he would quit by himself, yet without any progress either. So I am very frustrated, not sure what I should do. We have a lot of other problems, but I think quitting smoking is well within his power to do. And if he could successfully do it, I believe that at least he still cares about how I feel and what I want, and thus will eliminate the other issues. Please help me…..
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh
Smoking is an addiction. It is difficult to leave an addiction. In the pre-Islamic era, the Sahaba were addicted to intoxicants. Allah prohibits intoxicants over three stages. This was due to the difficulty in kicking the bad habit at once. Your husband is a cigarette addict. He also knows that it is harmful. He also will have a lot of respect for you and you are assisting him to quit a bad habit.
His angry reactions are simply natural as he finds himself trapped between a bad habbit and wanting to quit it but he is experiencing difficulty in not being able to exercise restraint. Continue putting the “pressure” on him. He will be ultimately forced with a situation of pressure verses addiction. He may reach a point of frustration and quit it. However, you too must be realistic. He may make promises and break them often. That is only due to his sincere intentions but weak will. You should also assist him to quit through other means, tablets, etc.
Be patience and determined. If he doesn’t quit completely he will at least decrease his smoking.
And Allah knows best
Wassalam
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah