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Is it necessary to obey parents in such a case?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

I want to know is it advisable to not listen to parents when they are going against the sharia ? my problem is, alhamdulillah i have received a marriage proposal from a good relegious family. now elders in both family are about to dicuss on this matter abt how to proceed this matter further as both girl and boy has prayed isthikhara salah and made thier decsion. insha allah they are planning to conduct this discussion in one week time from today. so the issue begins at when they wanted to take a wedding ceremony and waleema.

 my parenst wanted to have a royal ceremony and which i strongly declined. however after pleading from my parents i have made them to only have a nikah and waleema but no wedding. i have studied and also heard that the best nikah is the simiple nikah and it has full of blessings.  so i wanted to have the waleema in a very minimized way but parents doesnt lsiten to me. for example, my parenst wanted to have a waleema with 125 – 150 savans. (1 savan means 6 people) so its a huge amount and i am unable to bear this cost.

i told it to parents but they say if you want to get married you should save the amount that they have budgeted.  they have budgeted it 10 lacks rupees (1 usd = 130 rupees) so i told i am only capable of providing the half and of ths and please dont make my waleema a difficult one to me. at last the sollution they gave is, ether lend some money from someone and do the waleema or delya the waleema for next year after you save money will have it. this is unfair and i am planning to go against them as no body is helping me out or understanding my situations.

Please tell me how do you see this and what do you think i should really do ? take a loan and do waleema ?

Jazakallah khair.

Please reply me asap before that even take place in one week time.


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. 

It is not permissible for you to take out a loan for the Walima as that will lead to Israaf and Tabzeer (extravagance). Allah Ta’āla says:

{إِنَّ الْمُبَذِّرِينَ كَانُوا إِخْوَانَ الشَّيَاطِينِ وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَانُ لِرَبِّهِ كَفُورًا} [الإسراء: 27]

Translation: Without doubt, the extravagant ones are the brothers of the Shayateen. And Shaytan was ever ungrateful to his Lord.

Furthermore, in making a big Walima in spite of not having the means to do so leads to Riyaa (show). Nabi (Sallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has stated:

٦٤٩٩: حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، عَنْ سُفْيَانَ، حَدَّثَنِي سَلَمَةُ بْنُ كُهَيْلٍ، ح وَحَدَّثَنَا أَبُو نُعَيْمٍ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنْ سَلَمَةَ، قَالَ: سَمِعْتُ جُنْدَبًا، يَقُولُ: – قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، وَلَمْ أَسْمَعْ أَحَدًا يَقُولُ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ غَيْرَهُ، فَدَنَوْتُ مِنْهُ، فَسَمِعْتُهُ يَقُولُ: – قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: مَنْ سَمَّعَ سَمَّعَ اللَّهُ بِهِ [ص:105]، وَمَنْ يُرَائِي يُرَائِي اللَّهُ بِهِ

 [صحيح البخاري- كتاب الرقاق، باب الرياء والسمعة، ج ٨، ص ١٠٤، دار طوق النجاة]

Translation: The Prophet (Sallallahu ‘Alayhi Wasallam) said: “The one who seeks reputation, Allah will expose him, and the one who is ostentatious, Allah will show him up.”

The Walima conducted in such a way will be against the Sunnah and devoid of Barakah. Present your case to your parents in the most respectful manner and convince them to do the right thing. Also, make lots of Dua to Allah Ta’āla to assist you in this.

May Allah Ta’āla grant your parents the understanding and grant you a blissful marriage. Ameen.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Saleem Ibn Sajawal Khan

Bradford, UK

Student Darul Iftaa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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