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Can I dig up the past of a man who proposed to me?

Answered as per Shafi'i Fiqh by Qibla.com

Answered by Shaykh Amjad Rasheed
Translated by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Is it permissible for a woman to search on the internet about the details and the past of man that has proposed marriage to her?

Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

A woman and her guardian are allowed to ask around about the suitor. In fact, the guardian is strongly encouraged to do this. The only people, however, who should be asked about the suitor are those who one believes to know him well, such as his relative or friend or someone that has had dealings with him. The person who is asked should be someone trustworthy so that they don’t lie about the suitor.

It is obligatory on the person asked to tell the questioner about the bad points of the suitor if he knows any, but if it is sufficient for him to just say, “He is not good for you,” [h: i.e., if the woman and her guardian will act on this advice and not purse matters further with the suitor] then it is not permissible for him to say any more than this. Otherwise, if such allusions don’t suffice, then he should only mention the necessary bad characteristics [h: that suffice to turn the woman and her guardian away from the suitor] and no more. This is what the scholars of sacred law have said in the chapter of proposals.

If it is sufficient for the guardian or bride to make their decision based on what a particular person advises, then it is unlawful for them to dig further into the suitor’s life, because this would be considered unlawful spying and ferreting out the faults of Muslims. It has come in a hadith that, “Whoever ferrets out the faults of his brother, Allah will ferret out his faults.” (Tirmidhi)

السؤال: هل يجوز للمرأة أن تبحث على الانترنت عن تفاصيل لرجل خطبها؟ هل لها أن تبحث عن أموره في الماضي؟
الجواب : للمرأة ووليها أن يسألا عن حال الخاطب؛ بل يتأكد هذا على الولي، لكن لا يُسأل عن ذلك إلا مَن ظُنَّ اطلاعه على حال ذلك الخاطب كقريب وصديق ومن سبقت له معاملته وأن يكون المسؤول ذا أمانة لئلا يكذب في وصفه. ويجب على المستشار أن يذكر للمستشير مساوئ ذلك الشخص إن علمها فيه، لكن إن كان المستشارُ يكتفي بقول:
لا يصلح لكم. لم يجز للمستشير الزيادة على ذلك، وإلا ذكر له من مساويه بقدر الحاجة كما صرحوا به في باب الخطبة.
وإذا كان ما ذكره المستشارُ عن ذلك الشخص كافياً في توضيح الأمر حرم على المستشير أن يبحث عن بقية أحواله؛ لأنه من التجسس المنهي عنه ومن تَتَبُّعِ عورات المسلمين، وفي الحديث :” مَن تتبع عورةَ أخيه تتبع الله عورته”. رواه الترمذي.

This answer was indexed from Qibla.com, which used to have a repository of Islamic Q&A answered by various scholars. The website is no longer in existence. It has now been transformed into a learning portal with paid Islamic course offering under the brand of Kiflayn.

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