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Rejecting proposals and then blaming taqdeer

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Tafseer Raheemi

Question2: Some girl I know has been getting proposals and she has rejected as many as 50, when anyone asks the reason she replies that “Naseeb and it was written”….. I have heard that only 3 things are written which is life, Death and Rozi (sustenance). Can you please advise if this is correct or is she right in saying that her saying no to the proposals was written.


Answer: This world is Darul-Asbaab so we have to apply the means, especially in this situation as it has come in the hadith that when the right match is found then the nikaah should be done without delay.

It will not be right for her to say that it was written in Naseeb when the means are available.

It is stated in the Hadith of Tirmizi Sharif:
عن أبي هريرة قال قال رسول الله إذا خطب إليكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فزوجوه إلا تفعلوا تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد عريض
Translation: if you are sent a proposal by someone who’s religiousness and manners please you, then you should marry him, for if you do not, there shall be corruption and widespread chaos in the lands.

Also we learn from another hadith of Tirmizi:
حدثنا قتيبة حدثنا عبد الله بن وهب عن سعيد بن عبد الله الجهني عن محمد بن عمر بن علي بن أبي طالب عن أبيه عن علي بن أبي طالب أن رسول الله قال له يا علي ثلاث لا تؤخرها الصلاة إذا أتت والجنازة إذا حضرت والأيم إذا وجدت لها كفؤا
Translation: Hazrat Ali (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that the Prophet (Sallalahu Alayhi Wassalam) said: O Ali! do not delay in three things, Salah when its time has arrived, the burial of the bier when it is ready and the marriage of a solidarity women when her match is found.

So her refusal of the proposals is not right. She must have had a couple of suitable ones which she should have accepted.

I once heard the story of a priest that Once during a severe flood A priest was inside a building, people ran out and called him as well, but he said “God will save me” the level of the waters rose and a boat passed by people begged him to climb on the boat, he said “God will save me”. Then he ran up to the roof of the building and the water had reached there, so a helicopter came and let a ladder down so he can climb on to the helicopter, but he said “no, god will save me”. He then drowned and was presented in front of God. He asked God why did you not save me? God said “I sent a boat for you and then I sent a helicopter, what else was I supposed to do?

The moral we learn from here is that we have to employ and use the means Allah has provided for us.

This answer was collected from Tafseer-Raheemi.com the official website of Sheikh Abdul Raheem Limbada (Hafizahullah) of UK.

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