I am married man since 12 years. I love my wife very much; she also loves me a lot. I am more attached and expect lots of love from my wife. I have more sexual desire as well. We with our three children stay in Hyderabad, whereas our boths parents stay very far away from us (approx. 550 kms). Normally when we are in Hyderabad we have good time between us (few small fights of husband and wife do occurs but no serious issues). Normally we chat on phone at least 5 to 6 times in a day. But whenever she goes to her parents house she doesnt respond to my phone properly because she feels that others (her relatives) will feel bad about it. Whenever i call her and ask her to talk with me for a longer time specially when I feel lonely (Romantic Talk/ pleasing talk), she doesnt do that. She gives priority to situation present there instead of me, which results in my anger and I shout on her and sometime give bad words to her. It is affecting my health because I am heart patient and this type of anger is resulting in chest pain. This all is affecting my image in my in laws house and they are thinking that I am fighting with my wife always. My point here is whenever I feel to talk her or ask her some work, what is her duty even though she is at her parents house? Whether she should give priority to my phone and my work or to her parents/relatives, because this is resulting in our fights always. Please give reference of hadeeth if possible. Please answer as soon as possible.
الجواب وباللہ التوفیق
It comes to be known from the Ahadith that on a woman there is more right of the husband than her brothers, sisters, and other relatives and the obedience of the husband is imperative on the woman in every permissible matter if it is not against the Sharia’t. It is obvious that when you contact her on the phone then to respond to your call is also her responsibility. But you should be considerate that when you have sent her to her parents you do not know what is she busy doing when you call, whether she is able to talk to you or not. Or she needs to attend to some physical needs. You should also try to slightly adjust. In the situation where you are a patient and you have physical needs too then it would be better that you keep your wife with you. This will eliminate the quarrels and will be convenient for you too.
عن أبي ہریرۃ رضي اللّٰہ تعالیٰ عنہ قال: قال رسول اللّٰہ صلی اللّٰہ علیہ وسلم: لو کنت آمر أحدًا أن یسجد لأحد، لأمرت المرأۃ أن یسجد لزوجہا۔ (مشکاۃ المصابیح، کتاب النکاح / باب عشرۃ النساء وما لکل واحد من الحقوق، الفصل الثاني ۲۸۱)
عن عائشۃ رضي اللّٰہ عنہا قالت: سألت رسول اللّٰہ صلی اللّٰہ علیہ وسلم أي الناس أعظم حقًّا علی المرأۃ؟ قال: زوجہا۔ قلت: فأي الناس أعظم حقًا علی الرجل؟ قال: أمہ۔ رواہ البزار والحاکم، وإسناد البزار حسن۔ (الترغیب والترہیب ۳؍۳۴ رقم: ۱۶ دار الکتب العلمیۃ بیروت)
واللہ اعلم بالصواب