Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Please advise me. On several occaisions where I have wanted/needed to visit my relatives for a few hours, my wife has refused to come with me. We are both practicing Muslims and the visits are usually just evening visits to catch up on relatives. Sometimes however, she doesn’t feel like coming along and this has resulted in heated arguments where I have insisted she come with me to which she has insisted that she doesn’t want to, with no reason given and where she has maintained that she is not obliged to accompany me wherever and whenever I expect her to. I do not always insist on her coming with me, but when I really want her to and she refuses, I get very upset. Please clarify this matter for us. JazakAllah khair.
Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,
I pray that this finds you well, and in the best of health and spirits. May Allah grant you all good and success in this life and the next.
According to the fatwa of leading Hanafi ulema, including Mufti Taqi Usmani, the wife is not obligated to obey the husband in all his wishes and requests–besides the reasonable request for physical relations. Legally, even household work is not obligatory on her–and thus she can’t be “forced” or disciplined even regarding that.
However, the glue that bonds marriages is love and mercy. It is from love and mercy to be respectful of each other; and deal with differences in a decent manner with a spirit of mutual empathy and compromise.
And Allah alone gives success.