Question:
I am very sorry that I am asking much questions.
I have a question about obeying parents.
What are the virtues for obeying parents?
Answer:
SOME VIRTUES OF OBEYING PARENTS.
Allah says, And thy Sustainer has decreed, that: “You should worship Him alone, and be kind to the parents. If either of the parents, or both of them, attain old age during your lifetime, then do not say to them “Ugh, (word of contempt)” nor rebuke them: and say unto them a gracious word.
And lower the shoulders of meekness to them out of affection, and say: “O my Sustainer! Bestow on them mercy as much as they cherished me in childhood.”
Your Sustainer is fully aware of the secrets in your hearts. If you are dutiful (to the parents), then He is the Forgiver of those who turn often (in penitence). (Bani Isra’eel, verses 23-25). In another place, Allah says, And We stressed upon man with regard to his parents – in weakness upon weakness did his mother bear him, and his weaning is in two years – that: “Give thanks to Me and to your parents. Towards Me alone is the resort.”
And if the parents pressurise you to assign a partner to Me of which you have no evidence, then do not comply with them; and bear them company in the world honourably; and follow the path of him who turns to Me. Hence to Me alone is your return, then I will inform you of what you used to do.’ (Surah Luqmaan verses 14-15). In another verse of the Qur’an, Allah says, And We enjoined upon mankind kindness to his parents. With pain his mother bore him and with pain she delivered him. And bearing him and weaning him are thirty months. Until, when he attains his mature age and reaches forty years, he says: “O my Cherisher! Grant me constancy in this that, I appreciate those blessings of Thee which Thou bestowed on me and on my parents, and that I practise righteous deeds which Thou approve of; and make for me my progeny competent. Indeed I turn to Thee in penitence and I am truly of those who submit.” (Surah Ah-Qaaf verse 15)
Abdullah bin Mas’ood (RA) said that I asked Nabi (SAW), Which action is the most beloved to Allah?’ Nabi (SAW) replied, Salaah performed on time.’ I asked, Then which one comes next that is most beloved to Allah?’ Nabi (SAW) said, Obedience to parents.’ (Bukhari, Muslim)
In one section of a Hadith reported by Ibne Umar (RA), he narrates that Nabi (SAW) said, It began raining one day whilst three men were walking. In order to cover themselves from the rain, they went into the cave of a mountain. Whilst they were inside, a huge boulder fell, blocking the doorway of the cave. They were unable to physically remove it. One of them said, Let us think of some of our good actions that we have done and present it before Allah by supplicating to Him; perhaps He will remove this boulder.’ One of them said, O Allah I had both of my parents and a little child. I was a shepherd by way of occupation. Whenever I came home, I would firstly give my parents the milk that I had brought home with me before attending to my son. One day, I was delayed. When I reached home, they were already asleep. As it was normal, I brought home the milk. I disliked disturbing my parent’s sleep and also giving the child to drink before them, so I kept standing the entire night by their head side. O Allah, if this action of mine was accepted, please remove this boulder from in front of the cave so that we can get some light. Allah accepted this action and removed the boulder a little bit.’ (Bukhari, Muslim)
Abu Hurairah (RA) narrates that a man came to Nabi (SAW) seeking permission to go in Jihad. Nabi (SAW) asked him, Are your parents alive?’ He replied, yes.’ Nabi (SAW) told him, Make Jihad in them.’ (Remain at home and look after them). (Muslim)
Abi Sa’eed (RA) said, A man migrated from Yemen to Nabi (SAW). When he came, Nabi (SAW) asked him, DO you have any relatives in Yemen?’ He replied, My parents are there.’ Nabi (SAW) then asked, Did they give you permission?’ He said, No.’ Nabi (SAW) told him, Return and seek their permission. If they permit, then make Jihad, but if they do not, then be obedient to them.’ (Abu Dawood)
Abdullah bin Amr (RA) said, A man came to Nabi (SAW) and said, I make a pledge to you upon Hijrat and Jihad seeking the pleasure of Allah.’ Nabi (SAW) asked him, Are any of your parents alive?’ He replied, Yes, both of them are alive.’
Nabi (SAW) asked him, Do you seek the pleasure of Allah?’ He said, Yes.’ Nabi (SAW) told him, Return to your parents and be kind to them.’ (Bukhari, Muslim) In the same narration of Abu Dawood, it is mentioned; a man came to Nabi (SAW) and said, I came to make a pledge with you upon Hijrat and left my parents crying.’ Nabi (SAW) told him, return home and make your parents laugh as you made them cry.’
Anas (RA) narrates that a man came to Nabi (SAW) and said, I desire to go in Jihad but I am not able to do so.’ Nabi (SAW) asked him, Are any of your parents alive?’ He said, My mother.’ He (SAW) said, Prove yourself to Allah by obeying her. If you do this then you will be (in the ranks of) a Hajee (one who performs Hajj), a Mu’tamir (one who performs Umrah) and a Mujahid (one who fights in the cause of Allah). (Tabraani)
Mu’awiyah bin Jaheema (RA) narrates that Jaheema (RA) went to Nabi (SAW) and said, O Nabi of Allah, I want to fight in the cause of Allah, so I came to you seeking your advice.’ Nabi (SAW) asked him, Is your mother alive?’ He replied, Yes.’ Nabi (SAW) told him, Stay with her because certainly Jannah is by her feet.’ (Nasaai, Ibne Majah, Haakim)
Abu Umamah (RA) relates that a man and asked, O Nabi of Allah, what is the right of the child over his/her parents?’ Nabi (SAW) said, They are either your Jannah or Jahannum.’ (Depending on your treatment with them) (Ibne Majah)
Abdullah bin Amr (RA) narrates that Nabi (SAW) said, the pleasure of Allah is kept in the happiness of the parents and the anger of Allah is kept in the anger of the parents.’ (Tirmidhi, Ibne Hibbaan, Haakim and he says that it is correct on the condition of Muslim)
Thaubaan (RA) says that Nabi (SAW) said, Certainly a man is prevented sustenance from Allah because of a sin which he committed and only Du’aa changes a person’s destiny and only obedience increases the life span of someone.’ (Tirmidhi)
Anas bin Maalik (RA) relates that Nabi (SAW) said, Whoever wishes to have a long lifespan and an increase in provision, then he must obey his parents and join family ties.’ (Ahmad)
Mua’dh bin Anas (RA) narrates that Nabi (SAW) said, Congratulations to the one who is obedient to his parents. May Allah increase his lifespan.’ (Abu Ya’laa, Tabraani, Haakim)
Abu Hurairah (RA) narrates that Nabi (SAW) said, Uphold the chastity of other women and the chastity of your women will be protected. Obey your parents and your children will be obedient to you and whoever comes to offer his apology then tell him that it is either correct or incorrect, because he does not act in this way then he will never be able to come to My Hawz-e Kawthar.’ (Haakim)
Abu Hurairah (RA) relates that Nabi (SAW) supplicated, May that person’s nose be in sand, may that person’s nose be in sand (May he be disgraced).’ It was asked, Who O Nabi of Allah?’ Nabi (SAW) said, whoever’s one or both parents have become elderly and yet still he fails to enter Jannah (because of not being kind to them) (Muslim)
And Allah Ta’ala knows best
Nezaam bin Yahya Ali
Attested to as correct by:
Mufti Muhammad Ashraf
Darul Iftaa
Jameah Mahmoodiyah
Springs
08 September 2005
04 Sha’baan 1426