I was reading your website and I have a question regarding Talaaq.
My wife and I have a daughter and ever since she’s been born we have been living with her parents, even though we have our own home. Also, I have a child from a previous relationship that I pay maintenance for and I get to see very rarely. To be honest, there are many things we disagree about. We have been fighting ever since our baby was born. I love my wife and I want to make her happy, but I know that I don’t always do so. Also, I sometimes don’t do things the way she wants. At this moment she is extremely angry/upset with me. She hasn’t spoken to me for 3 days.
I don’t want a Talaaq, however over this past 6 months she has chased me away more than 6 times already. Many of these were just stupid misunderstandings.
I know that I am not entirely innocent, but every argument nowadays leads to her chasing me away. What hurts me the most is that her parents does not respect me and she has started to lose respect for both me and my parents. I want to fix things.
Can she just Talaaq me?
Our advice to you is that you should make your wife understand by explaining to her. You should also make an effort to shift with your family into your own house leaving your wife’s parents house. If your wife is not pleased to do this, then you should not stay in her parent’s house, rather move out, but continue visiting your wife and child. Maintain good ties with her and refrain from such things which can result in a fight. Observe what happens for a few days, and then make further Mashwarah. It is more advisable that you consult with your local Aalim along with other experienced people who are well acquainted with you and your wife’s situation.
And Allah Ta’ala knows best
Mufti Muhammad Ashraf
22 June 2005
15 Jumaadul Oola 1426