Assalaamualaykum Respected Mufti.
I am a 20 year old female who is interested in making nikah with a 37 year old man who is divorced and has a young child. I had weighed my pros and cons and would like to go ahead. My mother agrees and supports this marriage whereas my father and grandmother are very old school of thought and are only worried about their reputation.is there an Islamic basis that indicates that there is no compatibility due to age or him having a child. I would like to know from an Islamic point of view is there any problems or issues, Alhumdulillah the man has absolutely no bad habbits etc that my father can use to say his not compatible. Their only excuse for saying no is the age and the child, which I am willingly to accept. Kindly advise and if there is any duaa etc which can be read for my father to soften and accept this.
I am scared of committing sin with him as we are very close friends and have become like family.
Wa’alaykum as Salām wa rahmatullāhi wa barakātuhu,
A compatible age is just one of the factors to be taken into consideration since each person differs from another in terms of maturity.
However, there is no maximum age gap between.
In terms of marrying someone who is divorced and has a child, Islām places no stigma on such a person since there were companions of the Prophet ﷺ who also married those who were divorced and had children from their previous marriage.
The aspect of a person being single/divorced and/or having children or not, does not fall under the ambit of ‘compatibility’ when it comes to marriage.
If one has the fear of falling into a Ḥarām relationship with someone of the opposite gender, then Nikāḥ becomes obligatory in order to protect oneself from sin and its harms.
Whilst a person may marry someone compatible, the maintaining of family ties have also been given much importance.
We, therefore, recommend the following:
Asking someone who is close to your parents to speak to them on your behalf. This should preferably be done by a religious scholar whom your parents rely on.
You should also make Duʿā that Allah softens the heart of your father and grandmother, and to grant you goodness in the matter. There is no specific Duʿā to make in this regard. You can make Duʿā in your own language, and implore Allah to grant you what is best.
And Allaah Ta’aala knows best
Ismail Moosa (Mufti)