Is it wise for a husband to have a bachelor in his home, frequently, where he is served food and is exposed to the “comfort” of the home environment? Wife does purdah, but feels uncomfortable that bachelor may get “too comfortable” in home that she has prepared for husband, although husband out of kindness and genuine goodness of his heart, is being hospitable to his “bachelor” friend who he feels sorry for, because he is not yet married.
What to do about this? I feel a little threatened and uncomfortable when non-mahrams come to our home too frequently and feel that the security of my home is invaded by them becoming too familiar with our food and home environment and smells. Please advice on this.
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
Entertaining a guest and being hospitable to him/her is certainly very virtuous and a great act of worship (ibada). It is the way of our beloved Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace).
Sayyiduna Abu Shurayh al-Adawi (Allah be pleased with him) says: “My ears heard and my eyes saw the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) when he said: “Anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day, should honour his neighbour, and anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day should honour his guest hospitably by giving him his reward.” It was asked: “What is his reward, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “(To entertain him) for a day and a night and the guest has the right to be entertained for three days and if he stays longer, what he will be provided with will be regarded as charity (sadaqa). And anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quite.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 5673)
This Hadith of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) clearly demonstrates the limits of entertaining a guest. One should most definitely be hospitable and generous to a guest by giving him/her good food and a good place to rest in, according to one’s means.
One should entertain the guest by being extremely generous for one day and one night. The guest has a right to remain for three days, and then whatever extra one does will be regarded as a form of charity.
The guest should also think twice and not put the entertainer in difficulty, as in another narration it has been mentioned “It is not permissible for the guest to remain by him to an extent that he puts him into difficulty.” (See: Mishkat al-Masabih, no. 4244)
Thus, what your husband is doing is quite commendable, in that he is implementing the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace). The ruling is the same and will not be affected if the guest is unmarried. You should not worry on the fact that the guest will become too familiar with the food and the home environment.
However, if there is something that is genuinely of concern to you, for example, there is difficulty in you observing Hijab from him, there is a possibility of you being alone with him in the house (khalwa) or some other similar reason, then there is nothing wrong in mentioning and explaining this to your husband. Your husband should also understand that, it can be difficult for women to keep entertaining guests.
Mutually agree on how to go about this. You may entertain guests but within your own space and limits. There is Baraka and benefit in everything that is done with moderation.
And Allah knows best
[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Leicester , UK