I have been happily married for nearly 20 years. My sister is married to my husband’s brother and she refuses to live with the in laws, because of this my husband constantly argues with me and denies me to keep any relationship with my sister and parents. He refuses to talk with my sister and parents.
Please advise me.
Breaking ties is considered a grave sin in Islam. Saaiduna Abu Al-Ansari narrates that the Prophet of Allah said, ‘It is unlawful for an individual to sever relationships with his brother (in deen) for more than three nights, thus they meet an ignore one another. The best amongst them will be the one who greets the other first’. (Sahih Bukhari)
The Prophet of Allah has said, “Does not enter Paradise he who breaks up his family ties”. (Sahih Bukhari)
The Prophet of Allah has said, “Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be increased and his life to be extended, should uphold the ties of kinship.” (Sahih Bukhari & Sahih Muslim)
The husband has a right of refusing his wife’s parents, son (from another marriage) brothers and sisters to visit her, as the house belongs to him. However, he cannot prevent her from speaking to them. (Mukhtasar Quduuri)
Keeping the aforementioned information in mind we can derive that it is not permissible for the husband to demand his wife not to speak to her sister.
Your sister asking for a separate accommodation does not make her a sinner or a transgressor. Therefore, the husband cannot justify his stance by saying she is disobedient and a transgressor (Fasiq) which allows the breaking of ties. The basis of the aforementioned ruling is deduced from the incident when the Prophet of Allah and the Companions abstained from talking to Kaab Ibn Malik , Murara Ibn Rabi and Hilal Ibn Umayya for 50 nights until Allah revealed an ayat regarding their forgiveness in the Holy Quran. (Maariful Quran p.489 v.4)
The conclusion of your answer will be that it is not permissible for your husband to demand you from breaking ties with your sister. Furthermore, it is also wrong and incorrect of your husband to abuse and cause arguments with you regarding this issue.
The Prophet of Allah said, “Abusing a Muslim is an evil-doing and killing him is Kufr (disbelief).” (Sahih Bukhari)
The Prophet of Allah said, “I guarantee a house in the surroundings of Paradise for a man who avoids quarrelling even if he were in the right, a house in the middle of Paradise for a man who avoids lying even if he were joking, and a house in the upper part of Paradise for a man who made his character good” (Sunan Abu Dawuud)
Only Allah Knows Best
Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham.